Hello,
I'm a new mum with a 10month old. I am really enjoying being a mum and excited for all the adventures we will have as a family. BUT I'm getting this increasingly growing feeling that I don't quite fit or belong with my partner/family/extended family.
I have always been quite independent and my work always took me away to different parts of the country. I was also very active and enjoyed running etc.
I met my partner four years ago when I got more permanent, settled work (which I wanted) and here we are now.
My family is not local, parents are separated for many years now but i have a good relationship with all of them and we meet up as much as we can.
My partners family are local and I have a good relationship with them, my mother in law looks after our baby once a week while I work and they are always available to help out which is wonderful.
I just feel like i'm not quite fitting in, it's really hard to describe. Almost like I'm on the outskirts of family life and am only there because I'm our babies mother. I'm only there to facilitate visits and quality time with grandparents/other family. Like I have no other purpose.
Maybe I'm just starting to feel lost in motherhood?
Me and my partner get on well, we are a great team and are affectionate. We are lacking a bit of intimacy but part of that is just the normal challenges of having a baby but also I'm not that comfortable in myself anymore. I have lost interest in sex completely.
I still feel physically weak from having the baby and am unable to do the amount of exercise I was doing before due to time, exhaustion and incontinence ( can't run a half marathon now let alone without leaking!)
I'm increasingly wanting more and more time away from everyone. I am worried that I am slowly isolating myself by thinking or feeling like this when there really is no basis for it.
Is this normal? Can anyone advise? Just looking for a bit of reassurance
Thank you