Acknowledging that I am depressed, and wondering where to go from here..

[looop]

I will try and keep this a brief and to the point as possible.

I have a long history with depression, which I mostly struggled with in my mid-late teens (had bulimia, a car crash and a few other things I struggled with). I was put on anti depressants, and managed to 'self manage' and ween myself off them.

Over the years there have been times where I have been low, but I've always been proud to say that despite the many tests life has thrown my way, I haven't got to that point where I need help.

Except for the past couple of months, where I have come to accept that I am depressed and I am really struggling. I am pretty self aware; and realise this is an accumulation of a shit couple of years, my own insecurities and what feels like the breakdown of my marriage.

I know that things are going to get a lot harder before they get easier. And I NEED to be in a better place in myself to deal with it.
I acknowledge that I am a very insecure person, and that this at times leads me to act out irrationally towards the people I care about the most. One of my closest friends in particular, is feeling the brunt of this. And I hate myself for being like this with them.

I have called the doctors, but can't get an appointment for a couple of weeks. I am very worried about I am going to end up making things worse for myself, particularly with my friend.
What can I do in the meantime to keep my emotions in check, and stop acting so irrational!

Thank you for your help.

Get self help is www.get.gg. There is an Australian site, cci.health.wa.gov.au. If you go to resources then ‘looking after yourself’ it gives a list of conditions and each one has information and workbooks. There’s www.beatingtheblurs.co.uk but you have to pay for that. These are all mostly biased towards CBT type management, which is effective but like everything it doesn’t suit or work for everyone, so you can take a look & see what you think.

emummy Thank you for those. I will have a look.

I downloaded a 'thoughts diary' app which is based on CBT principles. I get what it's trying to do, but all I've found it useful for is 'putting down' my thoughts at that particular time.

That’s probably all you need to do just now, then you can see if there’s a particular pattern or theme. Hope your GP can help.

For anyone who may be interested; I finally had my doctors appointment yesterday.

And I have been diagnosed with clinical depression. And given a course of fluoxetine. My doctor was great, and said he felt I was being 'too hard on myself'.
I also spoke to my manager about being referred to the help service at work. I managed to say enough, but not too much (if that makes sense). She complimented me on my professionalism, and said you 'wouldn't guess'.

Two really difficult conversations that I had built up in my head. But had turned out ok.

And today finally; I told my friend after receiving the 'que' from them. How I managed to tell them without crying, I don't know. But it's done.

Well done! I hope you start to feel better soon and get all the support you need. Be kind to yourself and good luck

Acknowledging that I am depressed, and wondering where to go from here.. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feeling_depressed/3814409-acknowledging-that-i-am-depressed-and-wondering-where-to-go-from-here

Please see my previous thread for history.

I have just come home from work early. And have finally after all these months, have acknowledged that I am need of some time off. Work has been increasing stressful (I am an NHS frontline worker) and my working relationships are becoming more and more strained.
I feel I need space in order for it not to all come crashing down on me.
But despite my long history with depression, I have never taken any sick leave for it. How do you even approach your doctor for a letter/help with this?

Please help, I am on my knees. Thank you