Hate life and wish it was over 😢

[madcatsforever]

I have posted before about my ongoing battle with depression. During my recent admission I started lamotrigine as a mood stabiliser as bipolar 2 is suspected. Following the latest dosage increase I have suffered a severe allergic reaction including a widespread rash with blistered areas - this means I had to stop taking the medication just as I was beginning to improve.

I'm so sick of feeling this way, of doing all the therapy, of trying every day to eat well, get some fresh air, exercise, follow my mindfulness plan... Do everything I can possibly do to get well again and yet nothing works.

Back to the drawing board with medication which feels like a waste of the last 10 weeks. I feel like I will never be well again. I just wish it were all over 😭 I am so done.

I don't need replies, just needed to rant about how rubbish it all is 😢

You will be well. Everthing that you've described points to that - you're going in a good direction because you're taking proactive steps, however pointless they seem to you right now. Imagine how things might be of you weren't taking such steps.

I'm sorry to hear about the allergic reaction. I hope that the rash isn't causing too much pain and irritation. And that you feel so done over. I know, from experience, that there are people, some RL and maybe even more on forums like this one, who share and who care. You're really not alone.

Thinking of you. Tonight is difficult for me (DS and his MH). I'm about to listen to some hopelessly beautiful music.