Feeling out of control

[bellawoods2018]

Hi all, needing some help processing what's going on today, not feeling able to think straight.
Bit of background - suffered with anxiety as far back as I can remember, different severity at different stages. Last year I had a tough time, walked out of work one day and didn't return for months, received counselling, placed on medication that just switched me off completely.
Finally started to get well, made it out of the house, doing school runs, joined a gym which was so beneficial. All going well until recently. Struggling to get out the door again, always been socially awkward but now noticing how this affects people around me. I barely converse with anyone, I have been going to the gym as it always made me feel happy and safe. But, I had a charge made to my account for a missed class, I did not miss it, the instructor had not marked me in, this is not the first time. I have to call the gym to explain but they question why it is only me she missed off(not believing what I was telling her). I'm now believing this instructor is deliberately missing me off the list, now wondering why? The gym makes me feel 'normal' but I'm now afraid to go in because this has happened. Please, can you make me see this situation clearly, m struggling and starting to isolate myself.
Thank you for reading

I would either ,
Gather up your self esteem and:
Speak to the gym teacher directly, say you suffer with anxiety and it makes it worse when you are mistakenly missed off the register, especially if the reception don’t believe you... or

Change gyms

Change classes

Go to a yoga class where hopefully they will be more easy going.

Try not to let them put you off of something you enjoy.
Have self belief and stay strong 💪💐

Lexiepuppy, thank you for your encouraging words, they do help.

I do realise how daft it all seems when I compare my worries to others hardships but it's difficult for me to put it into perspective when my head gets crammed with worries.

I need to put some big girl pants on and express my anxieties to others rather than bottling up and making them into an issue.

Thank you 😊

Seems unlikely an instructor would miss you off on purpose. Unless maybe you're often late? I wonder whether he/she mixing you up with someone else? Just go and check at the end you're ticked in you don't need to give an explanation

I hope you are doing okay.

Don’t be so harsh on yourself, you are suffering with anxiety.

Just makesure you keep on going to the gym as that is good for you and you enjoy it.

Totallyradllama, I always make it to the class on time but usually the last person to arrive (to avoid small talk), perhaps she doesn't appreciate me coming in just before class starts? Not looked at it that way, will try and arrive earlier and see what difference that makes.
I have a class booked this week so I am going to try and approach her at the end without making it a big issue.

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply, it's all helpful 😊

Lexiepuppy, thank you, I'm doing okay 😊

I realise that I'm on a bit of a downwards spiral and have concerns that I could end up back where I was last year. The gym makes me feel good and I realise that I'm doing fine. This is just a set back, I'll continue to do what helps me day to day.

Kind words really do help, thank you 😊