Feel like I'm climbing up an escalator the wrong way

[Queenofpi]

After going to the doctors with depression and anxiety, I got signed off for two weeks. Since then, nothing seems to have gone right.

The first day I was signed off, I hit the curb and punctured my tyre. My 10mo daughter then got ill and couldn't go to the childminder, so I had two days with a grumpy, clingy (snotty) baby. My husband had to work pretty much all weekend (only happens once or twice a year, terrible timing) and wasn't home until after baby was in bed Saturday or Sunday. This week the childminder has been ill so I've had my daughter to look after. Yesterday the traffic was awful so my husband was over an hour late home. Now he's just messaged warning that something has gone wrong at work and he might not be home on time again.

I know I sound incredibly narcissistic and selfish, but I am so overwhelmed with everything that keeps going wrong! And then I feel awful that my poor husband is having to deal with all this too... with a not-quite-right wife on top! And the shoddy care my daughter is getting while I'm like this... I just want the antidepressants to kick in and to feel a bit more normal so I can be there for my family.

Er - sounds like you have depression and anxiety, which is what the docs just said! So be kind to yourself, accept that this is how you think right now, and that is OK.

Has the doc introduced you to CBT at all?

I tried CBT during a previous episode but it didn't really work for me. I have self referred to the local mh service and they will offer me something when I get to the top of the waiting list, whether that ends up being CBT or something else.

That all sounds a bit much to be coping with, even without the depression and anxiety!

I didn’t do very well with CBT either, which made me feel like a failure, like I wasn’t trying hard enough, etc.

I hope things have improved a bit and that you find the right support.