do you feel you have failed as a parent

[wouldlove2]

i,m feeling so low i feel i have failed as a mother to my son.i split from his father 10 yrs ago and have brought him and 3 other children up on my own. we moved away to make a fresh start or so i thought. he started bunking off school smoking drinking and solvent abuse. physical and mental abuse towards me. i was at my wits end. i took him to the gp who then refered him to a counciler then was refered as a family to soc services as his behaviour was having a knock on effect with the other children. the police forever at my door up all hrs wandering the streets looking for him as often went missing for days on end. the final straw for me was when he took a knife to me i was petrified but so upset that he could do that to his own mother. so to cut a long storey short i packed him off back to his dad with a one way ticket. he is now working and is going to resit his gcse. i am pleased for him that he has now settled but so upset to think that why couldnt he have done this for me. what did i do wrong i tried my best but not enough it seems. mothers should to be able to do anything for thier kids. therfore i feel as i have failed as parent.

I think you could only say you are a failure if you were on here saying that didn't give a f*ck about your son.

It must be very hard for you to feel that he has settled with his dad but didn't with you when that is all you wanted for him in the first place.

Do you have any contact with him?

Kids have a very strange way of venting their feelings and usually the person closest to them "gets it"! It seems you have tried your best and that is all you can do. How old was he when you split from his father? Is it possible he might feel like it was your fault that your marriage broke down?

maybe going to his father's was the kick up the backside he needed?

thanks everyone i do still have contact with my son. i phone him but he never has much to say i hear most things via other people. i have to rememember that he was going nowhere fast and i have done my upmost best to help him. maybe he will realise one day. i love him loads but miss him more. i know you have to let go sometime but i didnt expect it to be at the age of 15, he is now 16. i,m going to see him in oct cant wait! just a little nervous as to how he will respond to me. anyhow thanz all for listening xx

thanks everyone i do still have contact with my son. i phone him but he never has much to say i hear most things via other people. i have to rememember that he was going nowhere fast and i have done my upmost best to help him. maybe he will realise one day. i love him loads but miss him more. i know you have to let go sometime but i didnt expect it to be at the age of 15, he is now 16. i,m going to see him in oct cant wait! just a little nervous as to how he will respond to me. anyhow thanx all for listening xx