How do I get over this grief?

[allcoloursoftherainbow]

My Grandad died recently. I wasn’t especially close to him but he lived near me all my life so I have plenty of memories of him. I knew he was an abusive parent to my mum but I didn’t know the extent. Towards the end of his life Mum didn’t go to see him much and after he died her and her sibling argued about this and it turned out mums abuse was much worse than the others, I’ll let you guess but she’s the only girl. They accused her of lying. I went to the funeral as mum wanted me to as she didn’t want me getting any questions about why I didn’t go.
I’m having such mixed feeling as who I was grieving for isn’t who I thought it was and everyone thinks he’s so wonderful, telling them is more trouble than it’s worth. I barely drink but I’ve found myself drinking glass after glass of wine recently.
How do I cope with this?

This is very sensitive what happened to your poor mum.
She has gone through horrendous abuse by her father, and now she is doubted by her brothers.

I think you will need counselling to come to terms with all that has happened.

You and your mother will both need support and counselling. It will have brought up a lot of conflicting feelings.

Your mother will be suffering from Complex PTSD. There is a good book by Pete Walker called: CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving.

Samaritans will listen too.