I found out a few years ago I was conceived through rape and I've tried to forget all about it .
Thinking it was nothing to do with me I keep telling myself and it had nothing to do with me has been my main way of getting my head around it .
I was always shipped off to relatives in my younger life and don't remember much about my childhood other than it seeming normal at the time .
It explained a lot by the way I was treated in my younger years and left to my own devices very little contact or support with my parents growing up and they always pushed me away until I thought what's the point in having parents . I had nothing to do with them for years and now they are getting older they are back in touch telling me both sides of the story .
I don't really want to know or takes sides they stayed and were force together just to keep up appearances and give me a happy childhood but it was never a happy at home and would have preferred to have not known .
I've always thought a few pieces of the jigsaw were missing and now I have them do I finish it or just throw it away or put it back on top of the wardrobe and forget about it and just walkaway from them all .
They are seeking approval and probably forgiveness from me for the way they acted whilst both still playing each other against each other .
I'm the only one who has heard both sides and its not something I want to share with my sisters .