Does anyone have experience with selective mutism? I'm not sure if I suffered with it as a child and that's why as an adult I now rely on mum/dad/brother a lot
I could always be myself and confident at home, but school was totally different. I remember having accidents in school as a youngster, even some in high school when I got home as I held it in all day because I wouldn't ask to go to the toilet. I wouldn't ask for help in class in front of the class, the only way I could was to ask after everyone had gone and it was just the teacher - infact this happened in 6th form too, one teacher asked if we underatood and i knew i didnt but I couldnt say in front of my other classmates so sat the whole lesson and couldnt do anything. My close friend in school I would only speak to her when no one else could hear
I thought it would get better in high school, but high school bought around bullying due to BO and girls spraying me in changing. I used to go and sit in the toilet at break and dinner, no one could bother me there. I guess I partly have trust issues from that. My German teacher actually wrote in my leavers book, "Now that the speaking exam is out of the way, you can go back to silence!"
As an adult at 29, I struggle with general anxiety and still socially. My close friend - if it's her and a few other girls I can't speak at all. I know in my head what I want to say but can't due to fear and embarrassment so I don't say anything. If it's just me and her I'm kind of ok, but if mum and dad are there I can be myself - they are like my comfort blanket and the problem is I can't take mum and dad to get a job with me
I can speak to say my GP ok because I know they are there to help me, but put me with a stranger who's not a GP and the fear of judgement is strong
At the moment it's been put down to Social Phobia, but could there be more from childhood alongside this?