Want to walk and disappear

[FrayedTether]

I walked out of my house at 5am with the intention of never returning. DH convinced me to come back, said I should speak to Gp. I phoned and they told them about this morning and the response was just asking me what I wanted them to do. I told them I didn't know/ I'm open to advice or anything really.
Well, it ended with me apologising and ending the call as it was clear there was nothing that could be done as I'm not suicidal and I felt I was just a nuisance.

I don't know what to do. I just want to go, just keep walking in a straight line and let God deal with me. I only came back because DH said I'd get some help.

FWIW I've been to gp about 4 times this last couple of weeks because of anxiety and low mood, was given antidepressant and referral to online cbt which wasn't suitable for me. I also have bipolar.

I feel I'm hanging by a thread. I just want to walk and not stop.

I'm not sure why I'm even posting this, maybe desperation that someone will have some advice?. I don't know really.

Sounds as if you are in a depressive stage of your bipolar.

You need to work with your gp or psychiatrist if you have one to find an antidepressant that's right for you & wont send you too high.

I think that cbt is more for when you are well.
When I'm depressed I can never be arsed to do therapy!!

Luckily you have a DP who sounds supportive so talk to him about how you feel.

When I feel depressed I go to bed even during the day and a sleep helps.
Or I try to distract myself with trance music, a good book or just phoning a friend or making a hot drink.

I also take the anti depressant Venlafaxine which works well for me.

Do you work at all?

Sorry I haven't got advice but I completely understand how you are feeling it's exhausting just sending you thoughts and a hug xx

Thanks for the replies.

It's not that I'm not working with the GP, I'm doing everything they've said. The issue is I'm going down fast, most nights just 3 hours sleep but have no help with it, just an antidepressant added and wait 6 weeks for it to maybe work..and hope I don't become manic because of it.

I'm beyond the distracting self with music or books etc. I can barely concentrate or think , this post has taken me an age to write.

I'm ready to just go and never be found.

Are you religious I find praying a comfort. I really really hope that you start to feel better everything passes it won't always feel like this. You are loved xx