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Mental health

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To feel judged for my mental health

2 replies

Pollyanna789 · 22/01/2020 11:20

I suffer from anxiety/ depression and PTSD.
I am currently having weekly counselling which is helping.

Am I the only one to feel judged for my mental health as a parent to three children (16,11 and a 9 year old with SEN).

I can honestly say that I'm at my happiest when doing things with my children - going on family walks, taking them to the park etc.
It's not just a case of "putting on a brave face", I feel so much better in myself when I'm with them.

When I'm on my own (usually at night when they're sleeping) then I allow myself the time to grieve and have a good cry.
This doesn't mean I am falling apart. It just means I am releasing all those pent up emotions and I always feel refreshed afterwards.
My therapist encourages me to "cry it out" rather than hold it all inside.
My children never see this, and all three of them are doing well at school, are happy and generally live life to the full.

Recently while talking to one of their teacher's about my 11 year old's transition to high school (something he is finding difficult, as many children do), I unexpectedly let down my guard and the tears just came from nowhere!
I think it didn't help as I am currently going through a nightmare time with my hormones (I'm 44 and peri menopausal).
I was mortified.

The attitude I was then faced with (from the teacher), was "If you are falling apart and in crisis with your mental health, then this will have an impact on your children".
This was after she had told me that my child is a happy member of the class, always smiling, works hard and is a good friend to his classmates.

I now feel almost guilty for suffering from anxiety and PTSD, and feel terrified of the same thing happening.
I feel the need to document the lovely times we have at the weekends and take pictures (should they be needed for future reference) that my children are happy, that we do fun things together and that despite my anxiety, I am not "falling apart" or having some form of crisis.

Has anyone had a similar experience or felt the same at any point?

OP posts:
deareloise · 22/01/2020 11:25

That’s very hard, OP and it doesn’t sound very tactful on the part of the teacher Flowers

However, the essence of what she is saying is correct, even if it could have been phrased a little more gently! I must admit I have always subscribed to the belief that the bigger fuss I make out of something, the bigger fuss my children make. There are times when that’s totally appropriate: when they lost their dad, when their grandad died - but with normal life transitions I’ve always tried to be excited and positive.

The important thing is that you know your anxiety doesn’t impact on your children, but I do understand the teachers concern too. Do bear in mind teachers aren’t likely to be MH professionals and they certainly don’t know the intricate details of your family Smile

isitpossibleto · 22/01/2020 11:26

Yup. And after my experiences I would document everything.

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