i cant do this

[dawnibumps]

my daughter (only one) has just turned 9 months and i am finidng it impossible to cope with her constant demands for attention as well as trying to run a house. sometimes i feel like running away. my husband makes me get to the nagging stage before he does anything. i mean, it doesnt take 3 weeks to put dvds away, does it? and should i really be expected to do it whn he knows i cant pick the damn metal storage trunks up, as well as the fact i am running round after her, doing laundry, dishwashers, shopping and every other dan thing cos its easier to do it myself than to ask him?

am i being unreasonable or would it be fair to assk that if he fills the kitchen bin, he empties it, as i might be a little busy trying to untangle a small child from an electrical cable that he hasnt got around to pinning out of reach yet?

Hmmm this all sounds very familiar!!! I'll bet your hubby doesn't see the logic behind the statement" If you do it the first time I ask then I wouldn't nag!" Hang in there my little one is just over 1 and I felt something similar but I've found it easier since she started walking and is more independent. I don't have to do absolutly everything for her and she will keep herself occupied for longer periods of time which frees me up a bit to catch up or even put my feet up and drink a cuppa while it's hot!!!! Try to be strong and stick to your guns about him helping you out, one rule in our house is whoever cooks the other washes up.

And remember you can do this! They are not babies forever. (the child that is men unfortunatly are babies forever!)

Hi I just read through your reviws and I thought I was the only one with this problem, well is not bad enough to have a demanding toddler but I have a new baby too so with a hubby that takes ages to get off the play station or youtube I think I will need more energy to deal with him than with the babies

I agree with Carolcoles. Are you getting out of the house enough though as I found that really helped when I was about the stage you are at now (ie, first time mum, baby 9 months old). As a short term remedy do you have anyone to ask for help in sorting out that electrical cable? If your DH sees someone else doing what is really 'his' job, it might perhaps kick him into touch a bit.

Have you tried listing everything that needs doing, listing who currently does what and then looking at it together?
Sounds like he doesn't realise how much you are doing or how important certain things are when there is a baby on the loose.

i go out a lot as it stops me having to look at the half painted toilet, the stack of laundry, and other things. he keep telling me i need to make friends but i cant do. hell, i dont even like me at the moment, how can expect anyone else to?

we make lists, but even so i have to keep reminding him he has things to do.

if he is at home and needs the bathroom, he asks me to stop what i am doing to watch the baby so he can go pee. hasnt occured to him to think what happens when i am home alone and i need to go. anyone else got a nine hour bladder capacity?

Try beating him around the head with something heavy while he sleeps. Won't get the jobs done but will make you feel a bit better!!!

I know it sounds a bit extreme but me and dh went to Relate and I thought it was a great way to deal with communication issues without it all decending into a row. And it gave me a chance to think about what issues were bothering me and also for him to get things off his chest. Maybe worth a try, even just mentioning it may be enough for him to see that things need to change. Sometimes it helps to have that third persons input.

You didn't mention feeling lonely in your OP. Do you feel like you need more friends? Or would a husband that is a more helpful around the house suffice.