I have three children aged 14 months, 3 and 5. I’m now 37, and most likely will not have any more children. I suffered badly with postnatal depression and anxiety after each child, with additional difficulties in that my eldest is autistic and I was diagnosed with a life-threatening autoimmune condition (adrenal insufficiency) when my eldest was 11 months old, via a coma and ITU. So the last five years have been pretty dramatic one way and another, adjusting to life as a steroid deodorant person with an incurable disease, along with a few small children. I am a bag of contradictions, as even though I have often found the last five and a half years truly hard, boring and lonely, I’m desperate about never having a tiny baby again, and feel emotional about my children growing out of clothes etc. Having felt my whole life has been geared to finding a job, finding a husband, finding a house, having a baby, so now feel like I have fallen off the conveyor belt and don’t know what the point is from here. I’m really struggling with being 37. Does this make any sense? To be honest ZK don’t think I’ve even begun to recover from the very traumatic route to my diagnosis and there’s been a lot of pressure on my marriage thanks to horrific in-laws so maybe I’m just feeling down because life is more difficult and tiring. Nonetheless I’d love to hear if anyone makes any sense of what I’ve written here. Thanks in advance. X