Anxiety or have I really fucked up

[Ohbladeeohblada]

I have anxiety but not currently on medication. DS is 9 and has autism. He is very bright but emotionally young for his age. He isn't prone to impulsive behaviour and is fairly good at following instructions. This afternoon I picked my DH from work because it was pouring down but DS wanted to stay at home so I let him with the instructions not to open the front door or any windows. I told him to knock on the neighbour if there was an emergency.

The drive to DH's work is literally about 2 mins, I'd say half a mile max. I waited in the car park for about just over 5 mins and then drove home, all in all I was about 10 minutes. I wouldn't have left him any longer. DS was fine and played in his bedroom.

I'm utterly convinced I've made a huge mistake and that tomorrow he'll tell his teachers who will report me to SS. I've spent all night googling cases where parents have been arrested for leaving their children home alone and I'm convinced this is going to happen to me and I could lose my children, my job and my income.

I do think that he is safe to be left for 10 minutes, probably a bit longer but I wouldn't feel comfortable with more than that. But I am so scared the police and social services will see this as neglect and he'll be taken away and put into foster care.

I'm can't tell if this is anxiety or if I really have made a huge error in judgement that will cost me everything. Help

It's perfectly normal and completely legal to leave a reliable 9 year old home alone.

You're fine.

I disagree that it’s normal to leave an autistic, emotionally young 9 year old home alone for any amount of time. You aren’t going to get arrested for it though

I'm not sure it would be a good idea to do it again, but honestly nobody is going to get you in trouble for it.

@lazylinguist right now I don't think I'll ever leave him in the house alone again.

Gently, it’s the anxiety. You’re catastrophising.

You don’t want to even begin to imagine the sort of life a child has led to have been removed from their primary care giver.

10 minutes in a safe environment. No harm done. But - if YOU feel uncomfortable with it, don’t do it again till you’re all ready to.

That’s what parenting is - learning along the way. None of us are born parents after all.

Don't catastrophise! Everyone involved in your childs well-being knows it'd do your child more harm than good being ripped away from you and the family Xxx

You would have had even MORE anxiety if you had tried to force an autistic child to do something they didn't want to!

Give yourself a break. You know your child and you knew he would be fine.

Thank you all so much. Your posts are really helpful and I will keep reading them.

You know your own child. There no hard and fast rules. You were thinking straight when you made the decision. Now the anxiety is talking. If it's made you feel like this, maybe don't do it again, but not because it's not right to do it - just for your own peace of mind afterwards. Tell the head demons to be quiet now!!

It sounds borderline. But nothing went wrong. Perhaps leave it fir a while abd just leave him playing alone while you are in the house and garden to judge more easily how he manages.