Ex with MH issues/suicide threats

[Bringiton2019]

Apologies if this is not the right place to post, but I don't know where else to turn....

My ex Hubby has had severe depression in and off for years, but it escalated once we split (my decision).

We've been split over 2 years and divorced over a year now, he still messages several times a day. I've had messages today saying, he's lost who he is, he can't go on, he doesn't think he can go on. I'm not sure what to do? He's done this before and to be honest he really doesn't have anyone else. When we were together he managed to alienate himself from his family, friends and managed to scare some of mine off too.

I feel for him but he needs professional help, I can't do it anymore.

Thanks for reading.

If you're genuinely concerned he's in immediate danger call the police.

How did he scare off your friends and family?

He's always had this "I'm better than everyone" complex, doesn't feel like he should work for anyone but himself. He's set up several businesses but they've always failed.
Rude to people and both mine and his stopped wanting to see him.

Is he receiving medical help?
Has he faced up to his mh issues?

He is your ex and it’s not your responsibility to fix him.

@HeidiHoNeighbour
He's on anti depressants as far as I know.

I'm trying to cut ties it's hard when I know he's got very little support.
We have children together so I'll always be tied together in that respect.

He knows he has issues, I've told him to seek professional help.

I've been in a similar situation (EXH with serious mental health issues) and last year he had yet another episode which meant he was calling and messaging and saying he was going to 'exit gracefully'. This time, I just said to him that he sounded like he was in a bad way, that I was sorry, and did he want me to call his friend or call the police. He was really shocked (I've always rushed to help) and I ended up saying that if he was seriously saying to me that he wanted to end his life, he left me no option but to call the police and send them to do a welfare check on him. That's what happened - and he ended up getting sectioned about a week later.

Please don't feel like you are responsible for him. You're not. I struggled with this for over a decade (and still do occasionally) but you are NOT responsible for him. Even if he has driven everyone else away and you are the only one left who is his friend (again, this is what happened with me). You can still care, you can still try and help if you want to - but you're not responsible. If he carries on threatening suicide, call the police. They will go round and check on him.

If he's actually suicidal, you may save his life. And if he isn't, you have cut the tie that he (consciously or subconsciously) feels that he can yank on to get immediate
attention from you whenever he's feeling low.

You also have to think of your children.
His actions will affect them, no matter how much you try to shield them from it.

You may have to become a broken record: “I’m sorry you feel this way, you should talk to a professional”
“I can’t help you, you need someone trained”
“For the sake of our children, you must seek help”

@anunseemlylovefordustin thank you so much, I'm sorry you've gone through this too. I know I hurt him badly by leaving so I think that's why I feel responsible, however the MH issues were there long before I did.

I always feel he'd never go through with it because of the children, but I'm aware mental health is not that straightforward.

@HeidiHoNeighbour that is good advice, I have tried but will be persistent.