Anxiety overload again, so so many years

[granadagirl]

Over 49 years of anxiety, and still suffer
On ad’s and diazepam daily. It’s ruined my life, I’ve become a recluse, I hate social things just to anxiety provoking after years of trying.
Yesterday fine, went for bite to eat with dp and browse round shops. Good day
Straight After tea, from nowhere ibs, accept and didn’t focus on it as it wasn’t too bad
This morning on wake up bowel urgency
It was Pilates class today, not wanting to give into anxiety I went, took 1mg diazepam
I just couldn’t focus, thoughts of symptoms/feeling that were going round my body constantly over and over.
Wtf get a grip
I managed 40 mins, I suppose I could of pushed to the hour but didn’t want it to escalate out of control and feel worse than I did. So left
It won’t stop replaying in my mind!
I couldn’t eat lunch, nausea and shaking internally. My mouth so dry regardless of drinking, stomachs feels So nervous
Every time I get heightened anxiety to this extent it’s the same pattern.
Bowels, nausea, appetite goes instantly like a switch, shaky and the rumination of how I feel with the symptoms

So ladies how do you manage to stop the ruminating, it won’t stop playing and I don’t wAnt it. I wanna be relaxed again so I can just eat for a start.

Bumping for nite crowd , nobody with overwhelming anxiety😥

Sorry to hear you're having such a tough time, and for so long. I have much smaller problems with anxiety than you but what I find useful: Yoga. Music I like that's comforting or something i like that's dancy that I can sing along to. Trazodone. Propanolol. A shot of vodka (I know...) Walking in the woods or along a beach. But sometimes it's just very difficult to get control of. Take care

Sorry your feel like this op but what a warrior you are to have battled this so long. I've had anxiety for a long time too. Its exhausting. Getting outside some fresh air helps me and exercising when I have the motivation.

Colouringinpro can I please ask how you find trazodone? I've just been prescribed it for my anxiety but I'm scared to take it as I've heard it makes you groggy the next day. I suffer from bad fatigue and depression related to that so I'm nervous to start.

Hope you get some relief soon op, sorry for hijacking.

I’ve just told my dh that it’s so hard and tiring being me. I’m sick to death of anxiety.

I don’t have social anxiety but have GAD. I can only offer sympathetic support. I take a rubbish AD, but I’m too scared to try anymore as they have such an appalling effect on me😖

Thanks to your all for sharing your woes of anxiety with me.
Sorry That should of said 40 yrs !

Colouringpro
Is that a clue to a hobby.? I use colouring books
Sound a lovely part of the country you live? I’d love to walk along the beach, think I could do that daily. Or perhaps if it’s on your door step you don’t, but I’d give it a real go.
My nearest beach is 50 miles away, then not that nice the Irish Sea.

Lo5
It is exhausting isn’t it, it literally throws me when I cant relax even when I manage to push myself out I’m so rigid and the rumination goes round and round it’s exhausting it’s like I’ve no control. I’ll be reading book and it will be there in the background playing
I get the starting/changing med phobia, I hate it that’s enough to sky rocket anxiety

Emoji
It bloody is.
Its one step forward 10 back.
It’s funny because when I’ve mentioned social anxiety to therapist, I’ve been told NO I don’t think you have that. Perhaps because I come across in control chatty and knowledgeable. I told one guy, I was literally shaking inside, nauseous and holding myself tense. He was so shocked and said well you handle yourself well I wouldn’t of guessed you were struggling. I told him years and years of practice. I do think as I’ve got older the more reclusive I’ve become because of anxiety

I hate taking medication especially as I’ve got older
ones that mess with your brain 🧠 they frightens me.
Think it manifest from when I was so poorly about 9 yrs ago , when bad anxiety lead to loosing lot of weight, agoraphobia and depression changing of meds and it taking ages to see improvement.
Every time it gets bad I think I’m going back there to that dark place.

Granada yes it is a clue, I'm actually a part time artist/painter. Sadly I'm not near the sea either, but I love it when I am!

Lo5 I did find it made a a bit groggy for the first few days, and also it's best taken early in the evening, but it does help me. Also ensures I sleep well which is really helpful... I started on 50mg am now on 100.

@colouringinpro that's good to know the grogginess passed and also re taking early evening as I was planning on taking it right before bed. I've been given 50mg but plan on taking half for the first week to ease in!

I think all the antidepressants apart from SSRI and SNRI don’t create unmanageable side effects.

Those other two create so much anxiety that I’m terrified of taking them.

The best one I’ve ever taken ( and I’ve taken most!) was chlomipramine. It was amazing stuff but it made me overeat, so l had to stop it. But it felt like someone had turned a golden pinky light on inside me. I think the word is radiant