I'm not sure what to do next...

[Mumma1984]

So I have awful health anxiety - I've been through numerous illness worries

Cancers
Hiv

But the worst has always been MS... I'm not sure how it all started but I watched my my granddads stepbrother die of it slowly and it's imprinted on my memory - one time in about 2012 I had this onset of loads of awful symptoms- burning skin, fuzzy head, floaters in my eyes - lots of others and I just remember feeling awful and so anxious - I was continuously trying to find another answer that I didn't think was as bad, I had private lymes test etc

Anyway I FINALLY talked my doc into referring me even though he really wasn't keen and said it was all anxiety - I was referred and the neuro said the same, he did tests there which I passed and then he said look I wouldn't usually scan you, but you are beyond anxious ... I'll let you choose if you have an MRI, I jumped at the chance, had it and it came back clear.

Now since that time in 2016 - it happened again, around the time my dads cousins daughter was also diagnosed I think.

And lastly it happened again in October this year, both these instances were milder symptoms and again the docs said anxiety and that it didn't follow an MS to pattern etc.

I'm struggling so much to let it go. I don't feel it adds up to anxiety as I've had big anxious periods in between but no symptoms. I feel so worried constantly and I'm not sure if another scan will be the only thing to settle me but that would mean going private

Am I mad?! I'm just so scared of this illness :(

@SallyWD they sent me a referral letter :(

@Mumma1984 Ah don't worry!! I think your doctor's just being sensible. Best to get the neurologist's opinion. You said she was a bit stumped by your smoke smelling symptom so she probably just wants some advice on that. I'm really sure there's nothing wrong (nothing at all serious). Most people I know who've been referred to a neurologist didn't have anything seriously wrong. Let me know when you get an appointment and try not to worry. You've been saying you want a chat with a neurologist so this is your opportunity to get some reassurance xx

@SallyWD problem is as it's a routine referral no appointments until JULY!

Oh no what a pain! You just want it done and dusted! Well on the bright side it means they're not too worried. When they suspected I had cancer I was seen by a specialist the next day! That's when I realised things were serious. But I am sorry you have to wait. It's so frustrating to have it hanging over you.

Yeh I've enquired privately and asked the GP for what they need from me - just in case I just decide to do that, there is a lady who does thursdays and saturdays and would have an app within a couple weeks, I might end up doing that and just hope for the best, my eyes started twitching constantly just worrying about it all!

Definitely worth looking in to. If you can afford it it would be worth it for the peace of mind.

@SallyWD March 6th private app 😩

You'll be fine! See it as a really positive thing. A chance to chat with an expert and put your mind at rest. After you've got some reassurance you can focus on the happy things like your wedding.

@Mumma1974 just checked this post to see when you were seeing the neurologist and I see it was yesterday! How did it go? What did they say? I hope they gave you reassurance and peace of mind.

Oops I meant @Mumma1984

@SallyWD hiya yes I went! The lady was very lovely in fact she did stuff no one has ever done before - she did like a family tree and asked lots of questions about health things like allergies etc and anxiety and so on and tried to explain to me my anxiety is a gene - she said mine is quite strong rooted and she feels CBT isn't enough alone and she recommend I look back at other medication and she said she has someone she can recommend to talk to. She also did a chat of my symptoms and a full neuro exam and everything was fine she said nothing worried her or made her think anything other than anxiety - she did say the headaches and smoke thing could be migraines (vestibular migraines I think she said?) anyway I said so if I get those symptoms again should I be worrying and she said absolutely not!

That's fantastic! Sounds like it was just what you needed. I'm really interested to hear about the anxiety gene. There's a lot of anxiety in my dad's side of the family which I've inherited. My daughter is fine but I can see my DS suffers with it too. Do you feel reassured now? I hope you can put all thoughts of MS out of your mind and focus on your wedding.