I am just so depressed.

[Mirrors24]

As the title says. I've spent the entire weekend alone. Friday at work was awful, cried twice to two different colleagues. Can't imagine what they think of me now. I really don't know how to lift myself out of this. I have very few friends, no relationship, closest family member is 40 minutes away but has little interest in me. Life is so painful right now.

I don't know the answer, just sitting in here with you x

I'm so sorry to hear this. Have you talked to a doctor? We have depression in my family and medication transforms those that suffer. We take medication for different ailments, the brain is no different. Sometimes we just need a little help.

I'm sorry op. Is there anything on your mind that you want to talk about?

So sorry to read this. Try and take one day at a time. See your GP. Try as hard as it is to do something that engages you, yoga, meditation etc. Try and go outdoors. Try and do something that connects you to others. Eat well and sleep well. Sorry you are experiencing this ❤️

Thank you everyone you are all so kind.

I've had depression for over ten years on and off, I have tried different medications and many different kinds of therapy but it always pulls me back under. A family member said recently that she doesn't think I have ever really made any progress and that really hurt. A great deal of my life has been dedication to and consumed with trying to beat depression and anxiety.

I haven't seen anyone since I left work on Friday at 3pm, yesterday I managed to go food shopping and I was chatting to the checkout person, just for some human interaction really because I hadn't spoken to someone in over 24 hours and I think she thought I was a bit odd

I’ve seen many people enjoy a little chat with a checkout person. Most wouldn’t think you are odd- it’s kind of part of the job.

I’m glad you got out for a bit and have something fresh to eat.

@Mirrors24 I used to work in retail and always enjoyed a chat with the customers. I never thought any of them were odd, except the one customer who told me she was better than me! Also, on the subject of crying at work, I once burst into tears on the shop floor and a customer got another member of staff to come to me. Everyone was really nice about it, including my manager who up to that point I'd not really got on with well (she'd always told me I needed to wear more make up like the girls who worked on the beauty counters). Though I didn't know it, the reason I burst into tears that time, was that I was on the contraceptive pill. I had erratic mood-swings, depressive episodes and angry rages etc, for a couple of years before I worked out why and stopped taking it.

I have experienced depression on and off throughout my life, for different reasons, including the reaction to the pill. I have a diagnosis of ctpsd. Medication has never worked for me. I see a counsellor now who specialises in trauma kind of therapy, and though it hasn't been a "quick-fix", I feel as though my behaviours/responses are slowly changing for the better. I could give you some tips on what helps me (outside of the counselling), but I don't want to say stuff that sounds stupid or patronising or anything as you've been suffering for over ten years and I'm sure you have heard it all before. But anything you want to talk about then please do. And well done on getting out of the house yesterday.

Nothing wrong with chatting to strangers, you're just being friendly. Really hope things improve for you soon xx

I'm sure checkout person didn't think you odd at all!
I really hope things improve for you soon, perhaps go back to your GP? I find long walks blow away the cobwebs, particularly in the countryside. If you can commit to looking after a pet perhaps consider getting a cat or a dog? they can be very therapeutic. Do you have any interests? Maybe joing a book club, doing park run anything to get out the house and meeting people.
Don't take what your relative said to heart, people can be thoughtless, or perhaps it came out wrong and wasn't really what they meant, ignore it.