How do I know if it's depression talking or if it's reality?

[devilindisguise1]

I was told that depression can make you think more negatively about things than they really are but how do I know whether it is the depression or if things are the way I think they are?

When I don't hear from friends or family I think it's because I'm a burden and they don't want me in their lives. I don't call or text them because the fact that they haven't contacted me is evidence that they don't want to hear from me and it would just annoy them if I did. They wouldn't say anything because they would be being polite but after they would comment to their loved ones 'why doesn't she just leave us alone?'

I know you don't know me or my friends and family but I was wondering whether people think my thoughts might be justified or whether it is just the depression?

Many thanks

From my own experience I suspect it is the depression which has got you thinking this way. Are you taking any medication?

I would say, that for now I mostly think that when I go beyond thinking 'I haven't heard from this person or that person for a while' and then start doing exactly what you have written above which is making a story about why I haven't heard from them, it's at that point, with the why, that depression is talking. Because, bottom line is, without asking them directly we don't know why, but something in our minds will always go to worse case scenario and that it's to do with us rather than the (very realistic) possibility that the other people are just living their lives. Have you had any therapy? It's only through therapy that I've really begun to look at this stuff with someone who I trust to help me unpick it. For most of my life I've taken these thoughts as the absolute truth. Turns out I was wrong.

Thanks for your replies!

I have had therapy, I was on medication but I came off it last year because it was causing issues with my heart.

I can rationalise that people lead busy lives and have their own things going on but then the thoughts of 'well they have time to text or speak to so-and-so, they just don't want to talk to me.'

A way to challenge this could be to just text them but I don't want to impose myself on people who don't want me in their lives.