When did you know you were ready to go back to work after sickness absence?

[FirTree31]

I've been off for one week sickness absence, the 10 days fixed leave, I'm meant to he going back tomorrow which I have just confirmed to line manager. But I lied, I feel horrendous. I have diagnosed bpd since 2017, I have worked at this organisation since August 2018, this is my first major depressive episode. I am a single parent to two children. I feel confused, I had a bout of paranoia where I was sure a car was following me because they knew I am a bad mother, I am superficially self harming and sometimes I can't muster the strength to speak normally instead justa quiet voice, I also can't make decisions. I'm not sure whether I should go back tomorrow? I don't know what's best! Any advice /experiences would be hugely appreciated.

I have bpd too, i no longer work, but when i did i once had six months off work while meds were tweaked and changed to get them right for me.

When I was off sick with depression and anxiety my wonderful doctor gave me such good advice: when you feel better, tell me, but you will be signed off for another month.

Make sure you have a sustained period of feeling well to ensure you are resilient enough to tackle stress.

Thank you so much for your replies. I often feel I am just bothering my GP. There really aren't good services here, I asked to be put on the waiting list for therapy again and I have to sit and wait on a Wednesday at another GPs to discuss on a Wednesday for me to even go on waiting list. I was a nightmare during my last episode because I was in this awful relationship and was being abused so that's all I would discuss, I was obsessed, he would tell me what was happening and I would miss appointments and stopped seeing CPN, I think I tarnished myself.

I don't think I can go, eelven the thought of driving there makes me feel shaky

How long can you be signed off sick for before they try to get rid though? Isn't long term sickness something for those employed over two years on permanent contracts?

I can get 6 weeks paid sick leave, then down to half pay for six months, I've taken 3/4 weeks now. I want to get back asap, but I also don't want to end up being off again.

Make the most of it then! Though i would also think about how future employers will view long periods of sickness.

I'm about to go back after 3 months off. I just feel "ready" too now, whereas previously l really didn't

I just feel like a bad person and such a failure, I feel bad for work for giving me a job.

How did you know you were ready? Did you wait to feel back to your 100%?

I thought about going back after 3 weeks (I have a level of depression but this was mainly work related stress). I felt panicky and after two more weeks I didn't so I arranged to go back a week later.

Do you just wait until the panic subsides? It's also the seeing people and being overwhelmed

I knew I could have one day in the office and hide at my desk the first day, and I did a phased return starting with 1 1/2 days with the 1/2 at home.
I also reduced my hours and do a lot from home.

Talk to work about a phased return and take it slowly. If they have an occupational health department (or an OH service they use), they can help you with this.

Op you sound very conscientious.

When you say seeing people do you mean colleagues or customers?
Do you think its the job worsening your MH or were you enjoying it before being ill?

I mean colleagues and customers, although customers mainly communicate via email.

I have an OH appointment on Thursday.

I've told my line manager I can't come in

Well done for putting your own health first, OP. It's not easy.