Last year I said some really nasty things about DP to my mum. I said I was planning on leaving him and that I was building a fuck off find so I could do so, also I said to her I was maybe just with him the for financial stability he provided. I don’t think any of these things now but I feel sick with myself for having said them aloud to begin with, I feel like a nasty toxic gold digger and that DP would be hate me if he knew the cruelty I’m capable of it. I feel like I’m inflicting myself on him and I want to run for the hills, but the thought of being alone out there also makes me feel sick. Seriously jisy want to take a sleeping pill and lie down. Does anyone have any tips for managing this feeling, overwhelming sense of unworthiness??