Don't want to go back on anti D's. Need something though

[chezbot]

I'll try and be concise. 41 years old.MC in July spanning 6 weeks. Shit toxic job with lots of bullying (recently jettisoned) Teenager & husband I feel I am constantly short-changing. I feel broken and exhausted and I'm not entirely sure why I get out of bed every day. Had 6 sessions from MIND post MC which empowered me to ditch toxic job.
Writing this with tears in my eyes. One genuine friend locally. A few country wide but no-one I'd want to lumber.
Trying to tell myself 1 hour at a time but sat in a cafe with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Sorry you're feeling that way, it's so difficult isn't it? No real advice as I'm kind of in the same boat and don't have the answer.
I think self care, positive self talk and maybe paying for counselling that enables you to break down what you want to change and how you plan to do that? Sending huge hugs anyway, I hope somebody more knowledgable gives you a proper reply.

Have you tried St John's Wort? Like anti depressants it makes you feel worse for a while before better and you can't take with lots of prescription drugs so check with your pharmacist. It has helped me a lot tho

I second St John's Wort. Although the dose you get in the UK is less (I think it's about 50%) than the recommended effective amount. So start with 425ug a day then move up to 950ug/day.

It definitely works. It's the most-used anti depressant in Germany.

And exercise is proven to work on mood. I've stopped moving and my anxiety has skyrocketed while my mood has plummeted. I know it's daunting though. Maybe a 30-minute walk a day to start?

Sorry you're feeling this way.
Why is it that you feel you don't want to go back on anti depressants?

Thank you for your responses. @GlitteryGracie gratefully returning those hugs. Hope your fog clears soon.
@kitk @WantHerGone will investigate Johns Wort
@Cuddling57 Past bad experience of coming off anti depressants is giving me fear of going down that road again.
Really appreciate you all taking the time to comment, thank you.
Will start with exercise and take it from there.

Ok fair enough.
I didn't take anti depressants and I sometimes wonder if the affect the stress had on my body was worth it.
I recommend Yoga videos on YouTube. Can get anxiety ones and I find they really help. Some are only 20 mins, you don't need anything special to do them. Adrianne is my favourite. She is currently doing a new video every day for January. There is a mumsnet thread you could join for motivation. I did it last year and the positive mental effect is great.
Some people love running - maybe couch to 5k?
Also along with St Johns you could also try the rescue remedy.
I've heard meditation apps are good too. Maybe Headspace?
How about some self help books?
Do something nice for yourself everyday even if it's something little.

Dig deep and get out of the house for some fresh air and exercise. I know it will be the last thing you want to do.

I hated being on anti D so I ditched them and started power walking. In fact I didn’t even intend to start exercising I was pushing dd to the shops in her pram and was arguing with my self in my head and ended up power walking past the shops and in to the next town which is seven miles and got the bus back. When I got there I felt spent but some how felt some kind of relief, obviously I had endorphins running round me. And I slept better that night.

So the next night when dh got in I power walked and walked my shit off. Then I started jogging which then eventually over a few weeks turned in to running - which honestly I think may have saved my life and my marriage. Many times I was thinking of pressing the exit button.

I did my best thinking whilst running and I was able to have some clarity in some situations in which I needed to change too.

Good luck

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