What small steps can I take?

[sugarplumfairy28]

My life pretty much revolves around our SN daughter, my DH who has mental health problems and we have NT son who is all hormones right now, I have virtually no time for me. I really don't want to admit it, but I've been suffering with depression, I don't think clinical depression but circumstantial.

I want to go on holiday, but I cannot go alone. I think I have just about managed to get DH to agree to 2 small breaks of less than a week and a couple of nights over the course of the next year, I know it sounds selfish they are not the kind of holiday I would like (that we can afford) as they are self catering, drive to holidays, so will still involve a lot of effort on my part, but a step in the right direction.

I have no social life, no activities, no tv shows I 'must' watch. I desperately want to lose weight, but meal times are stressful as it is. I think I may have found some every day recipes made healthy that my DH says he likes the look of, which to date has always been sticking point no.1. I do have a cross trainer, despite both my children being at school, our daughter is so erratic I cannot plan too far in advance, generally there are 'red' zones through the school day where I just cannot be out the house and need to be able to sprint up the school to her.

I really need to do some little things I can do for myself, but I don't know where to start. I have thought about getting a dog (specialists have said our daughter would greatly benefit from a dog) and forcing myself out the house, but right now I think a dog requires a level of commitment I don't feel I can offer, so thats a no.

I love animals! Woodwork (I do have access to a workshop) I don't much like reading. Please does anyone have any ideas for me to find myself again?

That all sounds overwhelming so first of all, congratulations on having the self awareness to know that you could benefit from making some life changes and the strength to try and make it happen.

You sound like you need some support. What is your DH doing to help himself with his mental health problems?

Think again about the dog. They are a big commitment, but they are also a wonderful and not-negotiable reason to go outside every day for a walk. You'll also get the chance to meet other dog walkers and chat on your walks- nothing too intense, just passing the time of day- all very good for your sense of well-being too. Research which breed will be right for you and your circumstances. You might find it's the best decision you ever made.

cuppatea DH isn't doing a great deal to be honest. He is under a general psychiatrist and over the last year they have been tinkering with meds. He has a diagnosis for Bipolar Disorder and ADHD, but to be completely blunt I feel the doctors are lazy. My DH reads, a lot! So is king of self diagnosis, the ADHD is fairly recent, but he read up on it, went to the GP rattled off his symptoms which he had already aligned with ADHD, got a referral and off the back of one appointment with the psychiatrist got an ADHD diagnosis. Now via the diagnostic process for our daughter he has decided its not ADHD but HFA. He went back to our GP who is lovely and she got him a referral to a specialist because she believes he needs looking into in more depth, to date he hasn't made that appointment (and in all fairness life has been really chaotic lately). I don't believe he is faking it, but he needs constant nagging and reminding to do anything and I just haven't been able to deal with our daughter and him at the same time.

I'm really not sure about the dog, the reason for wanting one is really selfish, our daughter responds really well to larger dogs, one where she can have a mutual relationship (she has 2 Swiss Shepards she plays with, MIL has a Greyhound, neighbour has a St. Bernard), a small dog leads her to 'play' with it, constantly pick it up, treat it like a doll, she does this with 'her' cat and that's not good for anyone.