Today I am struggling

[Pippinsqueak]

Today I am struggling.

I have a one year old that still wakes frequently throughout the night, is breast fed to sleep and upon waking as it's quickest, but it's also what I was told to do by health visitors until I started back at work at nine months and then they said I was doing it all wrong.

People keep on "giving" me advice or telling me what I should and shouldn't do.

The last straw today was when a male colleague decided to send me a link about sleep and babies. I asked him not to anymore (as it's not the first time he's done this) as it's stresses me out. My work is also pushing me to change something with my child so I can get back to work quicker. I have told them everything I've tried (which is a lot).

I'm off work with exhaustion because of baby's wakings as I got to the point where I couldn't even make a basic decision. Something had to give and that was work.

I'm fed up of people thinking I'm just tired. They are also pushing for me to be labelled with PND. Not that there's anything wrong with that I just know that it's not what I have.

I feel like I need to talk to someone about how I'm feeling but not sure. I'm not sure if anyone can point me in the right direction. I'm not sure if anyone can really help me.

Sleep deprivation is hard!

It's also hard when everyone has an opinion on how you should do things. The best thing is to do what works for you - and it may take a lot of trial and error to find this out.

Do you have much support OP? A partner, friends or parents around?

I have a husband who is supportive but he works nights so not much help there. I have my parents too close by who help out by looking after baby so I can have a quick nap or a bath once a week but I haven't slept properly since she was born. The most I get is an odd four hour stretch and twice she's done a six hour. Most of the time it's every 2 hours :(

I've trialled and errored lots of things and the boob is the quickest and kindest method but people keep telling me I'm causing the issue and I'm back at square one with my guilt.

I have mum guilt, wife guilt, working guilt and my heads all over the place. I'm lost

If the boob works for you then that is the answer. You need to work out whats right for you and your child and do it without any feelings of quilt. What is right for one child will not be right for another (I have two - and they are completely different!!) so you really need to find out what works best for you.

Mum guilt is awful. I spent years trying to be seen to do the right thing, working parent guilt, people judging whether they had suitable clothing on for the weather conditions or whether their diet was acceptable or whether they spent too much online. People are so judgemental.

My kids are grown up now (happy and well adjusted), and if I was a new parent again I would forget trying to do the right thing and do what's right for you and the children. You are best placed to decide what is best for your child, and you need to trust that judgement. It will be the right decision (and where you later decide you made the wrong decision - that is simply part of the learning process of being a parent so do not beat yourself up).

I am glad you have some support. I know its maybe hard to believe just now, but things will get easier!