Another depression relapse it seems. I worked a long shift over Christmas, my parents are away, I’m single, so I would’ve been alone so I said I’d do it. It was fine but exhausting. By the end of yesterday I snapped at my best friends for something tiny and then had what felt like a breakdown. Could hardly breathe, crying ridiculously, up until 2am despite the lack of sleep over the two days at work. I felt like dying to be honest. Felt like the only thing stopping me was knowing how my parents would feel. I went out in my car and really thought I was going to. I called my mum and spoke to her and cried and it didn’t really help even though she was as supportive as ever. I felt like pushing my friends away. I know that my depression is likely always going to be around and will raise its ugly head now and again but how can I deal with it better? And stop it from making me snap at my friends, which then makes me feel even worse? I feel like if I could just sit with it maybe tell one person how I feel and let it pass it would be easier, but I never know it’s coming until it’s too late and I’ve done something to make it worse (like snap). I just don’t want to live my whole life like this, in and out of happiness and having thoughts of dying