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DH Mild Depression - what's it like on the inside?

5 replies

Wallywobbles · 23/12/2019 16:54

I think DH suffers from mild depression. Our psychologist thinks so too. He has headaches most days, grumpy at the least thing, over sensitive to any sound, particularly the teens laughing. We have 4 kids between us and he just moans constantly. It's worse when his kids are there (50/50) although they are all lovely kids. 11-15 age range.

Work is stressful, but that's a constant. When we are away from home just the 2 of us it's better. And he is the person who will climb the extra tower,visit the extra mountain etc.

He works in a fairly high risk industry so has loads of medical surveillance and nothing out of the norm there. Slightly raised cholesterol but nothing more.

He always feels sleep deprived even after 12 hours but always drives himself more than is reasonable in everything. He's been working full time and renovating an apartment in 30 minute snatches but he is now on holiday and the apartment is rented out.

I have very little patience at the best of times but the thought of another 30 years of this angry grump is miserable. So I'm basically asking for a dose of empathy - what does it feel like from the inside of depression.

Thank you.

OP posts:
11hairylegs · 24/12/2019 08:35

So is this new behaviour or has he always been ‘angry and a grump’?
Certainly I don’t have as much patience and I’m less tolerant when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Is your dh having any help to deal with this? Not necessarily in medication form although that might help.
WRT to how depression feels, its a bit different for everyone but for me it’s like everything good has been sucked out of you and you don’t feel you’ll ever be well again.. I get very low lows though and those times I also feel I want to bother any one else and that everyone’s better off without me. It’s then I can’t get out of bed, wash or even pick up my phone.

PurpleFrames · 24/12/2019 08:39

There was a thread very recently with about 40 posters describing their similar but unique experience with Depressive illnesses. I'm not sure if you could find that on the board?

It's horrible to have, really beyond awful.
Why if you have a pyscologist does he not want to engage? Does he have no hope for the future?

Wallywobbles · 25/12/2019 07:36

Thank you so much for answering.

About 18 months ago it became more noticeable to the point where his teens and I were "ok this is not normal you need to do something".

We found a CBT therapist who helped a bit but then we had joint sessions which focused mostly on just modifying the behavior in the kids that annoyed him! So useful as a family but not helpful to him.

We are in France and maybe it needs to be a psychiatrist in order to prescribe anti-depressants. Sleep helps him for sure.

I'm going to look for the other thread.

OP posts:
Pegase · 25/12/2019 07:56

Have you seen the black dog video- useful at explaining what depression feels like to some

www.mhinnovation.net/resources/i-had-black-dog-his-name-was-depression

Wallywobbles · 25/12/2019 12:06

Thank you. I liked the black dog video. He doesn't have all the symptoms of depression I don't think. But poor sleep, repetitive thoughts, self denigration, grumpiness and negativity seem to all peak together.

I'm worried that me shutting him down when he's complaining about everything will mean I break our marriage, but I really cannot take on his misery.

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