Please can anyone share their story of recovery from depression, anxiety and/or suicidal thoughts?

[PleaseShare]

My young adult DS is really struggling with depression and anxiety and for the first time he admitted that he no longer wants to live.
He is very worried that things will never get better and that he will always feel like this. He has been using alcohol and trying substances to try and help him. We have talked at length about this.
He has had counselling and has now been referred for alcohol and substance use counselling.

I am at a loss of how to help him, but thought hearing some positive stories of recovery may help a little.

Is anyone willing to share their recovery story?

Many thanks

What helped me is to realise that, while things do not automatically get better as an adult, you do have way more options as an adult to do something about the circumstances that cause you so much pain.

You are far less helpless as an adult. Things like changing a job, moving or even cutting yourself lose from toxic family members are tough (and often seemlingly impossible) things to do. However, you often have more options then you think you do, especially when you go looking for solutions.

I hope your son can take comfort in that and start planning for his future, if he does not like his current situation.

Thank you Capt
He has suffered with depression for a few years, maybe 5 years. He has been on medication for 3 years.
Very recently he split up with his long term gf which has made things worse for him.
He works full time in a job he doesn't really like plus many of his colleagues suffer with depression and use recreational drugs.
At the moment I think it may help hearing about other and their recovery

Matt Haig's book Reasons to.Stay Alive might be helpful to him. He writes about his own depression and suicidal thoughts and how he came out on the other side; he also writes a lot on social media about depression and anxiety and mental health in general.

I recently changed jobs, because my old workplace was making me miserable. While the transition was hard for a few months, I can now end the year on a much brighter note.

Thank you
Annafivetowns I have ordered that book, thank you

Just a bump

I too would recommend the Matt Haig books.
I have been on and off medication for 4 years, definitely recommend a trip to his GP for a review of medication and other services available.
For me, a focus on a new career/studying helped, and running

I had awful awful depression and anxiety, it has been over a decade of ups and downs.

I am better, so much better than I was, off of meds and everything. I have faith in God, so that helped a lot in my darkest times. Maybe one day, my journey will make sense. I have wanted to get off of the world, but ultimately I know deep down that I don’t actually wish to die. I know that those thoughts are fleeting, eventually they go. I don’t work on being happy, merely content, being ok with my current lot. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t look for change, but sometimes our battles are only done one at a time. You wouldn’t tell someone with a cold to run a marathon, you’d tell them to rest, recuperate and then tackle their training.

I don’t know, I’ve made my peace with my mental health. I don’t think I’ll ever be amazing, I’ll always be prone to over anxious thoughts, to having dark days. But these pass, they go.

My mental health doesn’t define me, merely it’s an addition I’ve had to learn to deal with and work around.

Sorry, not sure if that’s even remotely helpful. X

The average person works for what? 50 or 60 years? Why spend those years in a job he hates? Tell him the best thing I ever did for myself was secretly find a new job and walk out of my old one, telling my boss to do one before emailing their head office with photos of about 7 health and safety issues. Being in a shit job will make you miserable and knock your self esteem.

Find something he has always fancied having a go at and try it. Mine was commission based sales. Had always fancied the idea but too scared to try in case I was crap. Turns out I'm actually pretty good at it.

Is his medication doing him any good? Has it ever? If not, change it or adjust the dose via his GP.

Thank you
At the moment he doesn't feel strong enough to apply for a new job but it's certainly something he plans to do.
E are going to make a GP appointment on Monday and he's agreed for me to go with him.
His meds did seem to be working but now I think there are only having a very small effect. He's also taking CBD oil which again was working but not anymore, though I do wonder if he is remembering to take it often enough.

When I was at university I suffered depression for the first time. I got into a very unsociable routine because I was afraid of seeing people. I'd wake up at about 2am, clean the house I lived in obsessively, eat breakfast, go to my lecture if I had any early morning ones, come home and go to my room and sleep. I only came out of my room to eat or use the bathroom if i knew my house mates were out or asleep. I had no idea what was wrong with me. I didn't even realise anything was wrong at first. I avoided people as much as I could. I don't know, it was as if there was a dark shadow hanging over me. I became paranoid and scared of seeing anyone. One day I told my mum I think I'm depressed. Once that was done, I just slowly started to feel better. She was worried and I was far away from home but telling her just sort of clicked something inside. Gradually I slipped back into more of a normal sleeping routine. Started to speak to my housemates again. That was hard. They were angry and confused about why I'd been hidden away for so long. I don't know how but it's like it all lifted and I slowly became normal again. It was a very strange experience because I have no idea what triggered it, and really I had no experience of depression before that point. It was something I'd vaguely heard of, but I don't think it was talked about so much back then. I've been depressed since but it's never been so bad. I've always been able to recognise it for what it is and it's never got to extent that I've hidden from people to that degree. I've tried antidepressants before but personally have never found any that worked for me. The negatives have always outweighed the benefits in my experience. I've never been in such a dark place as I was at that time in university, but I still have a negative voice inside me that is louder sometimes than it is others. But it's like I notice it now and I can rationalise to myself that I'm having these thoughts, but that they're just thoughts. And though they still feel bad, they don't take over me.

Yes, I used to be depressed and suicidal. Now I'm not. It took a long time to change (years). I didn't use medication. Sometimes I wonder if I should have, but I have so many issues with it. For me, it's all about relationships. I'm really lucky to have people I love who accept and support me. Without that, I don't know how it would have been. Also, natural environments help me. Walking in the wilderness away from people.

The Matt Haig book is a great place to start. It's a very accessible and honest account of a nosedive into depression and the long process of clambering out.

And while we're recommending books I cannot praise Dr Christopher Cantopher enough. His short book "Depressive Illness: The Curse Of The Strong" is brilliant. Reading that was my turning point. Once I understood exactly how the illness worked, I found myself feeling more in control. It was a long time before I felt like myself again, but from that point on I found the experience much less frightening, didn't feel so alone, and was able to recognise the early signs of recovery when they happened.

One step at a time. Good luck.

I would also recommend a book by Johann Hari called Lost Connections. It explains why medication (certainly in the long term) doesn’t work and what the real answers are to depression. It totally changed how I view everything and is a real eye opener.
I think running could be a good suggestion, especially if he could then get out for Park Runs that are held in most areas.

Hi

I hope things turn around for your son. I've had anxiety and depression since my teens. I've had some pretty tough patches and have thought about suicide a lot during those times. This year however was the first time I've ever attempted to end my life multiple times because I just didn't see how things could get better. However with A LOT of support from friends and colleagues and mental health teams, finding the right meds and a brief hospital admission I am finally starting to be hopeful about things again. It has taken me the best part of 2019 and I know I'm also not suddenly better but I can deal with things now. At my darkest times this year I thought that I could never get past this and things would never get better. But now I am so glad I made it through the really dark times because I'm doing better than I've done in years. Support is so important and reaching out, which feels impossible sometimes I know but it really helps. He will get through this and I hope things improve for you both soon

Thank you for sharing your stories. We've seen the GP this morning and she is going to refer him to a psychiatrist and has given him 7 sleeping pills, then we are seeing her again next week.
We have private health cover so have contacted them too.

I really appreciate the stories you have shared xx