Flasbacks are terrifying *TW abuse

[PurpleFrames]

I just come round from the worst flashback I've ever had/followed by a nightmare. I'm shaking/ tense. I can hear loud music. I can feel him beating me.

Not sure why posting maybe just handhold and any ideas advice. Thanks in advance

That sounds extremely scary, how are you feeling now? Are you on your own or do you have someone you talked to when you woke up? As horrific as it is to return there, try to breathe and remember you are not there now, he can not beat you now. You are here now. Take care of yourself today.

Maybe a warm bath/shower or a warm food/drink might help?
Maybe call a friend or chat with Samaritans?

There are lots of grounding techniques online. I suggest you look to find some that suit you. Flashbacks are a shitty trick your brain plays. I find emotional ones the worst as the feeling sneaks up on me without realising. I suggest you read C-PTSD From Surviving to Thriving. The author is a man. I'm in my car at the moment so cant check my copy for the name. I also found cbt helpful. I also take antidepressants to help me deal with the anxiety etc. Self care is really important and exercise for regulating your feelings. Sorry this has happened to you.

I have nightmares. Although I don't wake up having panic attacks anymore. I had two nightmares last night which gave me anxiety sweats this morning.🙄 It's your brain trying to make sense of what happened.

I hope you're feeling a bit better than when you posted. If you're still feeling off...

Is there a place in your home you can sit that feels safe? A body position that feels safer?

Do you have a blanket to wrap around you and comfort yourself? A teddy or another object to hold that's comforting?

Is quiet helpful or would music or radio or a familiar film help?

How is your breathing? If you have the "breathe" app it can help you regulate your breathing.

What's going on around you in the present? What can you see? Hear? Feel? Can you hear rain on the window? Traffic outside? Can you feel your chair or bed or the floor beneath you, supporting you?

Does making yourself move around help? Feeling how you can power your body from one place to another?

I think the author LittleSweet mentioned is Pete Walker.

Yes it is.

Thank you for the replies I felt really embarrassed after posting thinking I should ask for it to be deleted

I think it happened because it is the first night away from my home for the holiday season.

Wolly - my mum is with me and I didn't say anything but we're having a restful day now. She said there was no music tho

Cake - I just had some pringles as a treat to myself after reading. It did help.

Sweet and Oh- thank you I will look it up on amazon. As horrible as it is for you it helps a bit to know other people get it.

I'm just on the sofa with a blanket and going to maybe watch some old Harry potters...

Nothing to be embarrassed about. Anyone would be traumatised and people are on this board either because they're suffering or to support the rest of us. If you're looking for judgement, you won't find it here.

Thank you

I've just been having a long chat with my mum about where I'm up to, how I don't feel I'm doing well, I'd like to do therapy.
I think I'm going to look for a private doctor to support.

Hi op, I’m glad you’re going to look into therapy. The right therapy can help enormously to help process whatever’s happened.
WRT after a flashback or a nightmare. Like a pp has said, look into grounding techniques. Smells can really help, find a smell you love and keep it near you (a roll on, a spray or get yourself a lava bead bracelet that you can add your own scent to), think of a place you love and feel safe at and really imagine yourself there. There’s loads more so have a good search up.
I’m sorry you’re going through this though.

I have regular flashbacks and they are horrendous I’m undergoing DBT for CPTSD sending you love OP

She’s the first person you ever knew - I’m glad you are able to talk to her.

Hey 👋🏼 I did reply to your PM a while back.

Hope you are feeling a bit calmer than you were this morning.

Thanks legs- I find lavender a good one for me. I use a pillow spray and roll on at home.

I'm sorry to hear that grump- how are you? Does that help?

Erina I have just replied x

Replied back; MN need to fix their app so you get PM notifications in it as this is getting silly...

@PurpleFrames Hey sorry for the tag but just wanted to let you know that PETE Walker has a website. It's more for therapists, but that means it's quite detailed information. The book is written for the public so a less condensed read.

I have had years of flashbacks/dreams like that and they are now going through EMDR. It's hard work but it's the only thing that has reduced the symptoms of my trauma. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it too.

Other book recommendations are The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It's about trauma and different therapies. Gives you a good understanding of what is shown to work and not with complex trauma - assuming that's what happened to you (trauma sustained over an extended period).

And Khiron House has a great programme. They have some separate clinics/therapists too. It's worth a look to see how they deal with trauma as it's a wholistic approach. These things happen to our whole self so often a few different things can help.

Upthread there are grounding techniques. Some of them may work really well, others not. That's fine and normal - for me some actually cause more flashbacks. I find distraction away from my body helps, so trying to do something that requires me to stay still (not feel body) and engage my brain is great. It doesn't really matter what it is though, my point is don't add to the burden of flashbacks by feeling you should be able to do something, more that there will be something comforting, you just need to find it (and will).

Lol sorry just seen the lavender post!

I can highly recommend Carolyn Springs as well as others mentioned www.carolynspring.com/about/ her blogs and podcasts are really helpful

Krist
No need to apologise. I think I read a book by him during my degree PW defo rings a bell. I got a lot from The Body Keeps the Score.
Sorry to hear you had difficulties but how great you've seen an improvement.

Red
Thank you too I really am grateful for your collective wisdom/advice/solidarity.

@PurpleFrames ping

@YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet does this tag reach you? Can you fix the alerts for PMs in the app please? TIA.