Sad I have to go back on antidepressants

[bluetongue]

I had been taking fluoxetine for a couple of years and feeling pretty good. My background is I have generalised anxiety, social anxiety, depression (this is only an issue some of the time) and I suspect I’m not neurotypical but have never been tested.

Anyway, my mood was pretty stable so I thought ‘let’s see how I go without meds’ and weaned myself off them I’ve had some nasty withdrawal symptoms with anti depressants before so I was pretty proud of myself that I managed to taper off them with only minor issues. I was free!

Things were good for a month or so and my mood was stable. Then slowly my life had some complications and I found myself getting increasingly angry and irritable. Then, in the past week, where I live in Australia has had a major heatwave and my mental health has collapsed in a heap and I’ve had a major depressive episode.
I absolutely hate summer and hot weather so this is a big trigger for me. Even seeing the forecast sent my anxiety skyrocketing.

So I’m back on my meds. I guess this depression thing is real after all. I nearly called in sick to work today because I couldn’t stop crying. A couple of times this week I’ve had those big, choking sobs which ended up with me hyperventilating. I’ve also felt incredible anger bubbling up, like I wanted to punch a wall. I’m most definitely NOT a violent person and wouldn’t act on these feelings but they are there.

I really, really need to move to somewhere cooler but as most of you know moving is easier said than done. My plan is to visit some possible spots to move to next year. Yes moving is stressful but I cannot continue to live in this climate. It’s literally driving me crazy (talking temps in the 40’s here).

Hoping things will look better once I’m back on my meds. I guess this is just my brain and I have to work with it not fight against it.

Dont feel bad about being back on your meds OP, im sure you wouldnt judge yourself harshly if you needed insulin or chemo, be kind to yourself OP

Thanks JustAnotherPoster. That’s exactly what my mum said

Sometimes I just wish I could be ‘normal’. That and that I was eligible for a UK passport so I could go and live in Scotland

If you had to go on antibiotics for a chest infection, you wouldn’t feel bad. These are just other drugs that are there to help you. Try not to let that become a stick to beat yourself with.

Sorry, I totally missed the other post that’s almost identical to mine.

Feeling a bit better today. Still in utter despair about the weather and the drought and bushfire crisis here. I’m a bit of a news junkie which doesn’t help either. I really need to start watching TV just for entertainment. Sadly I can’t just go for a nice walk. I’m struck inside for now.

Still, my resolve to move is still there. It’s hard because I’ll miss my family but I really think the weather here is a major contributor to my poor mental health.

Whenever the weather is cooler or I visit a cooler place I feel so much more ‘me’ and have so much more energy. I just feel like I have been dropped in an alien landscape here sometimes and it’s just awful

Have you had any therapy alongside your medication? You could take those difficult feelings somewhere which might help also.

I’ve had some therapy Woolycardi but it can be expensive in Australia.

There’s some provision through my work to access a psychologist for free. I might look into it.

I could have written your post, practically word for word, except I love in Scotland!! maybe we should life swap? otoh I am getting to accept that this medication works for me and that I am likely to use it long term.

that should be live in Scotland! maybe a freudian slip

Ohh, tempting Do you want a house that needs way too much spent on it as well?

The weird thing is that most of the time anxiety is my biggest issue but I get these major depressive episodes that just knock me sideways.

I’m just hanging out my my upcoming holiday. No sun holidays for me, it’s a snow holiday to escape the heat. I can’t really afford it but it helps me stay sane (most of the time) so it’s worth it I think.

OP - I wish I could swap passports with you! I live in the UK (close-ish to Scotland) and although yes it's a beautiful place, trust me the weather here is grim and I have the same feelings as you, but for the cold and the rain!

I am almost in EXACTLY the same situation as you in regards to AD. We spent some time this summer in a hot country and wow I felt alive, I felt I no longer needed the meds. I am very fair and really struggle in the heat but the sheer happiness a warm climate brings is so elevating. I didn't want to come back to the UK. I love living here, it's beautiful and a very safe country. But wow we hate the weather here and for the most part (winter especially) we are a really really miserable bunch!! Brits THRIVE of sun and we get zeroooo here. To sun it up, came back to wet miserable england and back on the meds boo.

In one way, although I am not really addressing most of the stuff you have mentioned, in regards to the weather the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I know if I moved to Oz after a while the heat would get to me. Ozzys seem far more happier than Brits anyway haha. I'm not saying we're all like this but generally, I find Brits a miserable unfriendly bunch! I hope you work something out

Just to add to this - why has the 'world' never considered citizenship swaps?! Genuine question! So in effect, one country swaps a person for another

I'll swap with an Aussie no dramas!

Funny what you say about Brits being an unfriendly bunch Beau as I’ve always found I have got on with them better than Australians. It’s a bit of a running joke that I was born in the wrong country.

I’d be up for the passport swap. Who knows after Brexit, it might be easier for us Aussies to move to the UK.