Anxiety, new meds, relationship troubles

[M4shy]

Hello I've been reading for a while & decided to join as I just got given sertraline, told to take 25mg to start.

I was diagnosed with OCD in 2015 had CBT which I didn't get on with and I didn't take meds then. Been just trying to get along since, anxiety was really bad when working, little voice constantly telling me I'll do something wrong.
Left work 1 year ago was doing ok until had some building work done this summer and had to stay in so builders had access. Took 3.5 months in which time I became really depressed and anxious over silly things.
I self referred in Sept and after waiting weeks for a consultation was told I can have counselling but the wait is about 6 months.
My depression now gets coupled with odd days where I'm very angry and weepy and others where I feel ok. Which is ruining my marriage. My DH is the only person I have to talk to, but he feels I'm always picking on him and moaning at him.
Had a massive arguement yesterday, wasn't talking to me all day, so I went to Doctors in hope of starting to fix things. I asked DH after if he's had enough and his only answer is 'it's what you want'. I asked for his opinion in the arguement and how he feels in our relationship, but all he says is 'nothing, he has no opinion'. I pointed out he shut himself in our bedroom for 4 hours after our fight then slept on the sofa, so surely he felt something, anger maybe. He said 'no, it was just segregation'.
I told him I want to fix my health so we can work on our relationship, he just says 'well I can't help you with that'.
I was happy to move to my mum's for a while if he wanted space but he's not bothered, he was happy for us to live separately in the same house.
Am I going mad, shouldn't he have an opinion, some feeling towards us, what he wants to happen in our relationship. Constantly answering 'i think nothing' is infuriating.

Not looking forward to starting meds after doc said 'you'll probably feel worse before it gets better.'

Sorry for the rant

Sorry to hear this, @M4shy - hopefully someone will be along with advice very soon.

I can relate. I have anxiety and on meds and it’s unfortunately surrounding my relationship. I think the need to know answers and get responses from your husband is just to try and get some reassurance- even if he gave you some input it would help. However...my husband is similar,and I think sometimes they don’t know what to say and are frightened to say the wrong thing- also my husband often says “i don’t know” to things- certain personality types need longer to process and have a think about what you’ve said- anxiety needs an answer straight away,it’s impatient. I wouldn’t perceive it as he’s not bothered- I think he is probably trying to avoid saying anything you might take the wrong way- anxiety makes you hyper vigilant so even a pause before he responds could make you anxious. I keep getting anxious then exploding and then my husband withdraws and then I feel desperate,and send a million messages..mines a lot attached to self worth,part of me is unknowingly trying to sabotage the relationship

Also men can be black and white logical thinkers with much less emotion involved,so try not to take this personally either x

I really can relate- I re read your message and my husband is exactly the same! - have you read anything into attachment theory? It helped me a lot- also I keep behaving explosively and regret it and apologise and then think oh well I’ve bound to have wrecked the relationship now...I don’t think my husband thinks about the relationship nearly as much as I do- I once said to him how do you see marriage and he said as long as we don’t end up chucking things at each other then I think things are fine.

Thanks for the replies, reading others have experienced similar makes it feel a bit better.

We managed to have a heart to heart the next day, he said he doesn't know what to do to help but he'll try not to do the silent treatment. I promised I'd let him know when I'm having a bad day so he can give me some space, and knows to expect stupid little things to get to me. Fingers crossed the meds and eventually therapy can help