DoTheHop, sorry for the apparent contradictions.
So, I last saw him 1to 1 in September. Seen him once since then at a family do, but couldn't really talk.
We generally have a 20 minute chat over the phone every 10 days or so. During those chats the indications was that he was quite happy. Just started new job in Sept, settling in well, making new friends. Moved to new city for this job.
Then last weekend I got a curt response to my Hello, how's things type text.
Yesterday he texted to suggest a chat. Had about an hour convo about non personal stuff, eg politics, climate change, polarisation in society. Then he said that things weren't going so well at work (just Office politics), and he then suddenly told me he was coming off his Citalopram, I leapt in and said that wasn't a good idea in winter (his mood always dips around now).
He was really verbally abusive, absolutely incandescently angry, referred to previous instances (where I've given my unwelcome opinion which has led to periods of estrangement, ended by my promising to let him make his own decisions and keep my beak out) called me a horrible name and put the phone down.
After a couple of texts he then called me back , apologised for shouting and swearing at me and saying his behaviour wasn't right.
I said, ok so I should have responded to ask why he felt that was the best thing, how he was doing, etc rather than tell him what I thought.
It was then that he told me that he stopped taking the pills about 3 weeks ago because he didn't want to be reliant on them and they make him feel numb.
He said the last 3 years have been hell. He did well at uni, was a happy then, but had a rough time doing his MSc, , basically taught himself computer science, which i was aware was the case. Worked in a very high stress job in the City and jacked it in. He was doing well and earning a lot but the stress was making him a lot worse.
He said he feels utterly hopeless about the future. The withdrawal makes it hard to concentrate, drive or do anything.
He is aware of the need to exercise and is going to the gym. I wish he'd run but can't tell him that. He's eating well because his girlfriend makes him nutritious meals every night. He's sleeping well because he's exhausted.
His GF is extremely supportive of him but I suspect she won't have told him not to go cold turkey. I don't want to go behind his back to ask her to talk him into going back on the meds.
I've told DH that I'm really worried, and so he's going to leave it a few days then suggest a meet up in DS's city and will try to persuade him to see a psychiatrist.
DS hasn't had a regular GP due to 4 moves in 2 years so I think a psychiatrist would help, if he can be persuaded to go.
Sorry for epic