I've been very low recently. I'm prone to depression and anxiety. Circumstance has triggered this episode of depression. Last week I was looking at ways of committing suicide. Now I feel weirdly numb and calm, with bouts of dread. I'm concerned for myself feeling this way. I've got four children and need to keep my head above water. Feeling like this is unusual to me like the calm before the storm. I don't know what to do.