Health anxiety

[user1471481764]

Hi, just needing to know I’m not alone here. I think I have pretty bad health anxiety. I currently have a cold given to me by 3 yr old ds but have convinced myself I have something far more sinister. I’m on meds already for anxiety, but I have a hospital appointment next week for my kidneys and have managed to convince myself that they will have totally packed in, that my bloods will reveal cancer, that I’m going to die and leave my kids motherless. I’ve always been anxious, and still worry about the kids - this wasn’t helped by having 25 weeker twins (we lost one shortly after birth) and a baby with a heart condition who we very almost lost also - I feel like my anxieties are justified by the times things did go drastically wrong and I’m just waiting for the next trauma. I’ve started to feel like there’s just no point really anymore because life will just end in suffering and illness - please tell me I’m not alone, I’m really struggling

Oh you poor thing. I think health anxiety is common after you have been through traumatic times. Have you had any counselling? I had 5 sessions and it helped enormously with my anxiety.

i had counselling years ago, but found it pretty unhelpful. Then I had some talking therapy after poorly son number one, didn’t really found it helped either - Gp gave me a number to ring earlier this year to refer myself again but I just couldn’t make the phone call. I’ve been ok for a while, until my kidney function dipped in the summer and I began imagining death again. Then the last four weeks or so it’s just become unbearable again, started when I read a blog about cancer and my mind has gone mad. I literally can’t cope with hearing about any kind of serious Illness.

You're not alone.
I feel I'm about to have a heart attack or stroke at any moment- most days. Cardio problems ate a huge fear.
This last year I've also been 'sure' I have
Cervical cancer
Lung cancer
Brain tumor
Sepsis
Thrombosis
You are not alone.
And many other things.
Currently musing over whether I have diabetes.
Not focused particularly on health- but Paul David's blog really helps me on bad days.

I will check it out - I find it so hard at the moment to know what is real and what could be me and my ridiculous mind. My husband doesn’t know what to say anymore. Each time I do this, I’m so convinced that this is the time I am right, that I do have cancer/end stage renal failure that no one can really get through to me. I’m so tired, not sleeping at all, feeling permanently sad and worried out of my mind

You're on constant alert. You are worn out.
It's like a cycle that we get caught up in.
At my worst point I was at my gp's surgery 4-5 times a week with my various symptoms. Symptoms which I'd caused inadvertently myself through my anxiety in a lot of cases. It's only now I can see this.
It will 'click' somehow for one illness and I'll believe I was being irrational- then my focus shifts to something else. ( My heart fear is always there though)
Finding out as much about anxiety as possible and reading testimonies from people who have been through/are going through similar really helps me.

The chances of having any of those illnesses you mention are tiny. If your kidneys were packing in you would be too ill to do anything at all.
Your mind is looking for a reason for your unease so you are imagining it must be something physical causing it.
The thing is,....it's the opposite, your thoughts create physical symptoms.
I became severely anxious early in the year due to health anxiety. I ended up on antidepressants and beta blockers but I've also now had cbt and counselling.

I've still got lots of physical symptoms and many of these are side effects of the meds but of course I've been convinced I'm dying.
Now I'm feeling better I can see how irrational my thoughts have been. I don't allow myself to Google symptoms anymore. Instead, I tell my GP and then tell her what I'm scared it is....and she explains why I'm wrong.
I will always be anxious to some degree but i do Thai Chi now, and have increased my physical activity which helps.

I’m exactly the same OP. You’re not alone

Hi op, fellow health anxiety sufferer here.

Have you tried reading self help stuff for anxiety, whether it be cbt or some other therapy? While I was waiting for appointment to meet therapists it really helped me. I think what was useful was feeling like I was taking some control. I think feeling you can take control of your anxiety, or at least come to terms with it, is key. There are so many different therapies to try that hopefully one will suit you.

What didn't necessarily help was reading anxiety forums because it gave me more fodder to worry about. Googling illnesses likewise.

It was useful for me to see my gp (who was sympathetic) but the difficulty is that, on the nhs, treatment is limited by costs and hampered by long waiting times.

Self help books but also self help articles available free online.

There used to be a good ongoing health anxiety thread on here but there haven't seen it for a while. Although I just said above about not going on health anxiety forums it was useful .