Think I have health anxiety, or a serious illness

[astraea]

Hi,

Not really sure where to start. I feel a bit silly. I'm 43, I have 5 kids. I'm a safeguarding children's social worker. Lots of things have happened over the last 18 months..

My dad had a heart attack which lead to a triple heart bypass. A year later (about 3 months ago) he had another heart attack. He has heart disease which I have been told can be hereditary.

My 23yr old DD has eplilepsy (since the age of 13) over the last couple of years she has suffered with extreme anxiety and panic attacks. She came home (still in her last year at uni in London, we live the other end of the country) as she was really struggling to leave the house. She then about 2 months ago was having trouble with her eyes, long story short she has been diagnosed with idiopathic intercranial hypertension, she is receiving treatment for this.

My younger DD aged 21 has just split from her partner of 5 years.

My eh is a dick, constant rubbish from him (all 5 kids are his, we have a 6 yr old DS so have to have contact)

Work is very stressful, I've had several moves and changes of managers in the last 6 months and workloads are ridiculous. Also had a period of being bullied by one manager.

Money is tight and I'm stressing about Christmas.

Over the last maybe 3 months I have been struggling with eating. I eat really slow as I'm terrified I'm going to choke.

Over the last month or so I have been convinced I have throat cancer and this is why I struggle to eat.

A few days ago I started getting heart palpitations as well as stabbing pains in my chest and between my shoulder blades, also some heartburn.

I went to gp yesterday, she said she thinks the heart stuff is anxiety attacks. I'm not convinced. Why would it cause pain? (Today it's like a constant dull ache in my chest and back).

She prescribed me beta blockers which I started taking last night. But she wants me to also have full bloods done tomorrow to check physical stuff. I am certain this is because she thinks I have something wrong with me.

I feel like I'm going mad, or I'm going to die and leave my family. Can anyone help? Sorry for the long post.

Hi,
Your definitely not going mad.
I’m not qualified to say if you have a illness or not but I was diagnosed with health anxiety myself about 13 years ago and “beat” it.

At my worst I convinced myself I had hiv, a brain tumour and that my heart kept stopping. My symptoms were very, very real to me. I was also convinced that doctors were lying to me.
Mine started when my marriage became abusive. With the benefit of hindsight I now see that rather than dealing and coping with the actual stress in my life I transferred it to my health.

I had the constant pain in my chest/top of back. My Gp said it was reflux. He was probably right but at the time I didn’t believe him. Your Gp is doing the right thing. She’s giving you a good check over to make sure you are ok health wise. If you aren’t they can get you the treatment you need and if you are the Gp can treat you and help with your anxiety.

For me, once I dealt with the real stress in my life and coped with it better (and left exh) my anxiety improved daily. I got a cbt councillor and had weekly sessions for 8 weeks. She gave me coping mechanisms that helped greatly.

Also I definitely haven’t died of hiv, a brain tumour or my heart stopping and starting again BUT what I did learn is that the mind is a very powerful thing and I had a very real illness in the form of a mental health illness that I’d never even heard of. I still have wobbly days even now but I cope much better.

You’ve got a awful lot of stressful stuff happening around you that you have no control over. Even one of those things is hard to cope with never mind them all together. Be really kind to yourself, give yourself a break and keep talking to you Gp.