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Mental health

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Original poster

Post natal depression

9 replies

Nc1468 · 01/12/2019 18:08

Just hoping someone might be able to tell me they have been here and if gets better 😭 my LO is 12 weeks old and I've been struggling for a while. Went to my GP on Friday and got sertraline which I've taken for 3 days but honestly feel worse (which I know is a side effect) but seriously just need to hear from people who have been here that it gets better.

OP posts:

Dizzywizz · 01/12/2019 18:42

It gets better. I had it with both children. Nearly left it too late with ds1 to get help but just in time I did. After ds2 I recognised the signs and got help quickly.

I’m sorry, I hope you feel better soon. Do you have family/friend support?

Original poster

Nc1468 · 01/12/2019 20:43

It's horrible isn't it.

My husband is really supportive but he's out at work all day. A lot of our 'friends' don't bother with us now we have LO but my best friend amazing - only issue is she lives 2 hours away so it's phone only during the week. But she is really supportive.

DS is our first and I always wanted more but I cannot do this again, I've never felt so low in my life.

OP posts:

detachablehoof · 01/12/2019 21:32

YES it gets better. I was diagnosed with PND when my baby was 12 weeks. I think the hardest thing was feeling like I wouldn't ever get better. (I didn't exactly feel like I was ill - just that I did not like my baby)

I also went on sertraline, they upped my dose a couple of times but within a month I was much more myself. Six months on and I feel totally back to my old self and planning to come off the medication early next year.

It's such a horrible thing to go through, you feel like you should be enjoying the baby but you can't. Hang in there - it will get better!!

Also - I enjoy my little girl SO much now and I feel like I get extra enjoyment out of her because I don't take it for granted that I love her to bits :)

detachablehoof · 01/12/2019 21:34

Also I am with you on not wanting any more! I think we will stop at one. They say there is a 50% chance of having PND again and I really don't want to go through that again. (plus I had terrible morning sickness which was also grim!) Weirdly although I had a 'traumatic' birth I wouldn't mind doing that bit again! It was the subsequent newborn phase which totally threw me.

One baby is plenty :)

detachablehoof · 01/12/2019 21:45

I should also say that the hospital I went to (a specialist perinatal mental health unit) was absolutely amazing. I could have stayed there if necessary (but was fortunate enough to be able to move in with my parents) and they sent a nurse to see me regularly (every couple of days initially, then down to monthly latterly). I also attended some of the baby groups at the hospital which I was very unenthusiastic about but I actually really enjoyed them (as did my baby!). We did baby yoga etc. Was good to have to get out of the house and meet some other mums who were unwell.

Take all the support you can get - and if you get offered NHS home visits / baby groups, give them a go... I wasn't keen on either but actually found they helped immensely, it was something to look forward to / work towards.

Original poster

Nc1468 · 02/12/2019 06:08

Thank you so much ☺️ I don't know if it counts as a 'traumatic' birth but I was induced 3 weeks early as DS had stopped growing and a couple of other issues which knocked me for 6, I know it sounds stupid but I felt like I wasn't ready for him to come just yet. It took 5 days from being induced to have him, and I was in hospital the whole time it was awful.

I think after we came home everyone wants to see you etc so you're never alone but as he's got older people have lost interest and I find it's just me and him day in day out until DH comes back from work. He's out of the house 12 hours a day so it's really lonely. And being on maternity pay doesn't help at all!

I've suffered with depression in the past and had sertraline for it so understand it's one of those you need to give time and work up the dosage but I don't remember last time feeling worse once I started taking it, maybe that's just a memory issue!

I feel bad for DS as I really wanted him to have a brother or sister but I can't do this again. And I know DH would like another too which doesn't help.

I think I have a lot of anxiety too which makes the depression worse, like I constantly worry about him and anything I can find that could be 'wrong' with him I Google the hell out of and convince myself he's gonna die or something even though rationally I know he's okay.

Dreading DH going to work today 😩

OP posts:

detachablehoof · 02/12/2019 15:18

Yes it is sooo lonely. Especially on reduced income and with the cold weather, it's not very easy to get out and do stuff! I did find I felt much more like myself once I did though. I really recommend you see if there are any NHS run groups you can attend. I didn't like the idea of them but did find they helped!

Original poster

Nc1468 · 02/12/2019 17:01

Don't think anyone prepares you for just how lonely it is. I definitely didn't think it would be this lonely.

I've got to go back to see the GP next week so I will definitely ask thank you xxx

OP posts:

detachablehoof · 04/12/2019 13:20

It gets easier though. I found from about 16 weeks my little girl started to develop some personality which made her much better company! Now at 9mo she's so much fun. It's a lot less lonely. Plus when out and about everyone stops to talk to her because she is pointing and waving etc.

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