It's long but I don't want to drip feed.
Dd1 is 22. Last November she had a mental health crisis. I came home to find her in the corner of her room shouting at the voices to go away.
I took her to A&E, and she was assessed and referred straight to an assessment unit at a psychiatric hospital.
They decided that the voices weren't psychosis and decided not to admit her.
She was visited at home by the crisis team for about 3 weeks, and put on Venlofaxine, Quitieptine and sleeping tablets. She stopped the sleeping tablets after a short while, but was told to remain on the others for at least 2 years. The venlefaxine has been increased once since then, and she sees a psychiatrist every 3 months.
In September this year she started university which was something she was really looking forward to. She was so excited and always talking about it. She wanted to live at home so has gone to a uni in our city.
Since she started she has been quite upbeat about the whole thing, has been doing the work well and attending as she needs to. 2 weeks ago she should have started a placement but they didnt get her occupational health clearance done in time. She needs to have an extra assessment as she has some physical illness too. She was upset about not being able to start, but they assured her the time could be made up.
On monday night, i came home from work and we had a mild disagreement about what was for dinner. Since then everything has just gone totally wrong.
She absolutely refuses to speak to me. Has said she has hated me for ages, and her siblings. She said she never wanted to go to uni in the first place and that if i'd opened my eyes i'd have seen shes not been ok for ages. Then in the next breath she says she is fine and that it's non of my business, and that she is allowed to hate me if she likes.
She said some vile vile things to me and her siblings, and now has said she is moving out on Monday and will not see or speak to us ever again. She refuses to say where she is moving to. I asked if it was with someone else or alone and she said alone. I asked how she was going to pay for it as she has no money and she said it was non of my business.
She also has an appointment with uni on Monday to withdraw from the course.
I know for certain that she is no longer taking her venlafaxine. I dont know if she is taking her other meds. I have told her I am worried about her mental health and she said 'if i was going to hurt myself I could have already' which is true as she has her other medication.
Twice this week her bf has come over and shes been her old self, laughing, talking etc, to him, not us. She is eating as normal, getting up, dressed and made up, and has been out the house albeit briefly.
I am really worried about her. If i thought she was making this decision in her right mind then yes i'd be devestated but i'd have to respect her choice, but I just can't see how she is in her right mind, to go from 'fine' to this.
I told her that if she leaves on Monday and doesnt tell me where she is, I will have to report her as a missing vunerable person. She said if I do that and they assess her she will lie to them and say she is fine. I said why would you need to lie ? You said you are fine ? She then backtracked and said yes i am fine and they would see that cos i've not harmed myself.
Dd is very headstrong and will regularly back herself into a corner in an argument and cut her nose off to spite her face rather than admit she is wrong. I don't know whether this is an extreme case of that or some sort of breakdown.
My question is, what the hell do I do next ?? Half my friends and family say leave her too it, she is playing you and she is an adult, let her see what the real world is really like. The other half think I need to get her help.
If I do try and get her help, how do I even do that ? Who do I contact ??
I would really appreciate any advice xx