I don’t feel safe :(

[2004pickle]

I’m definitely not feeling suicidal but my anxiety is so overwhelming that I am harming myself a lot. In little ways so I won’t cause terrible damage but it’s been frequent for the last day or so. I’m covered in marks and I’m ashamed and disappointed in myself. I have got so much better over the past few months of treatment but this feels like a huge set back. I’ve stopped exercising and doing mindfulness because I am so anxious so it’s a vicious circle as they are the things that often help. I also turn to food which makes me feel worse about myself and then I am more likely to hurt myself. Need a hand hold and some motivation

What is a small, non-threatening thing you can do that might be grounding or make you feel better or take you out of your head a bit?

Is there a perfume you have that you like?
What about walking up and down stairs a few times if you have some?

It sounds like the coping strategies you've used in the past have become another source of anxiety - is that possible? Not to say they're bad coping strategies but maybe you need something more simple just now?

@2004pickle, 💐
Can you identify things that you know make you feel happier or less anxious? Could you try to do one of those this morning? Even if it’s a teeny tiny thing?
Do you someone on realy life to talk to?

Thank you for your helpful comments. I’ve gone for a walk which has helped and I have work to do this afternoon which will distract me. I can talk to dh but we’ve had a row which triggered my anxious episode. I’m seeing my psychologist next week so I’ll tell her.

I'm currently working up to a walk myself and am basically in awe of you for managing one.

(Minus 6 here so maybe that's a factor)

Hope work is rewarding! It's sometimes nice to do something tangible with a result at the end of it.

I’m a teacher and I’m marking. Not very exciting but it will be a sense of achievement. I’m going to wrap some Christmas presents too to give me some purpose.
I hate being me. I’ve had the worst year of my life and just want to feel better. I hide it so well from work and my children but it’s such a struggle. I’m trying to focus on how far I’ve come and remind myself it’s not my fault but today all I can focus on are the pinch marks and bruises on the hidden parts of my body

I’m a teacher too and can really empathis with putting on the teacher face and trying to carry on whilst feeling low. It’s past for me now but I was off work for some months. Can you find someone to talk to ... maybe at work? Or a friend? Being able to let some of it out can really help- stops it all swirling round in your head.

Maybe do a nice easy thing this afternoon- play a game with the kids? Watch something you enjoy on the tv?

I’ve not even had a day off :-( i was too ashamed to tell anyone from work and scared they’d think I couldn’t cope or that I’m a bad mum. A small number of people know. It’s trauma related not work related and mostly work helps. I’ve had months of therapy, tried medication (disastrous but glad I tried) and am literally doing all the right things. It’s just now it’s the end of the year I’m so fed up that I’m not ‘there’ yet. My life looks great on the outside which for me makes the anxiety and low mood feel even worse. I’m calmer now and so thankful for the kind comments

Don’t be ashamed. I do think most people can empathise, even if they can’t understand and if they can’t... they’re just lucky to not yet be hit by it!
This time of year is very hard which will make this even harder. School right nOw is crazy...with so many things on which is bound to make it harder for you.

When I was going through my bad time, I found Facebook massively difficult- it just highlighted (to me) how much better everyone else was doing at life than me. Now I’m better I know it’s just how they choose to portray themselves AND how I chose to translate it. No one is judging you, no on is critiquing your life on the outside...I’m sure