How to cope with no support network?

[parrotonmyshoulder]

My mental health is good, but this seemed the right place to post. I’m in a dire relationship situation, working through trauma and other issues with a therapist. I feel I have nobody between sessions to turn to.
I feel I can’t share any of the issues as they’re too big for anyone except my therapist to handle, and will change how people perceive me/ treat me/ expect me to behave. My good friends have their own problems, my acquaintances can’t be expected to take it on. My best friend has ASC and her own mental health would be affected.
So I have to pretend I’m ‘fine’ while I can feel a huge ball of anxiety and fear inside.
I only have fortnightly counselling and can’t increase it. The biggest of these issues has only just come to light, so I haven’t had time to work out with her what to do.

Hey! I find your post very relatable, I also have mental health struggles. Have you looked online for additional support outside of your therapy? Maybe find a forum or Facebook group with like minded people and get talking to somebody in there. There will undoubtedly be somebody out there in the same boat!
My last psychology stint resulted in an autism diagnosis, so I looked up autism forums and have made friends there that I talk to in a group chat, just knowing there is somebody there to listen has made all the difference. Do you have a formal diagnosis for your mental health? Maybe look up a group for other people with the same diagnosis. It sucks feeling like you have nobody to talk to and I hope you manage to figure something out!

Hi, thanks for your post. Just being heard is helpful.
I’m not feeling safe to post online, in case it’s found, so these cryptic posts on Mumsnet are the best I can manage for now. Makes me sound paranoid. I’m not!
I’m meeting autistic friend shortly. She’ll know straight away that something is wrong as she’s amazing at empathy. Too good! Perhaps I’ll feel able to share some of it. She doesn’t need to know the details.

You're welcome, I know exactly how you feel! The upside to posting online is being able to hide behind a username. Deffinately consider reaching out and opening up to your autistic friend! We have a very black & white view on the world and find it much harder to tell you what you want to hear so we're able to offer good advice on things! Just know that you're not alone in how you're feeling and it will get better!

I feel the same too sometimes. I did today. Some support networks I don't feel are the place for me to share some things.

Mumsnet is a good place I find. Sometimes I write a post and then don't post it, or read other's posts. I imagine what I might reply to a similar post. I find this helps a little.

I feel I can’t share any of the issues as they’re too big for anyone except my therapist to handle, and will change how people perceive me/ treat me/ expect me to behave. My good friends have their own problems, my acquaintances can’t be expected to take it on

hi @parrotonmyshoulder I remember your other recent thread and I think I suggested using your support network, but of course if you don't have one as such then that suggestion is unhelpful. I do apologise for that.

On the other hand, my quote from your post is to highlight that you might well benefit from a CBT intervention to explore that particular thought process. In my experience, a focused approach to 'deconstructing' what you've said there would be very beneficial in identifying some possible leverage in what you believe/tell yourself about your support network situation. Does your therapist use any CBT? If so you could discuss the struggle you're having between sessions and challenge some of your thoughts and feelings around opening up to friends or family.

Regardless, hope meeting your friend today helps you feel better.

Thanks for your kind and supportive posts.

Unfortunately, the current situation with my support network is just as described. I am usually the one doing the supporting. There isn’t any capacity for anyone to do that for me right now.
Autistic friend was very helpful this morning. She had a wonderful written list of what she needed to talk about first, and then gave her full attention to me. But we didn’t have long really.
My brother is excellent, but his own family life is very difficult and can’t/ shouldn’t put me first.

Actually, to add to that, I have been ‘burnt’ I guess by reaching out about exactly the same issue in the past and utterly rejected/ ignored/ brushed over. So another reason to resist.

Samaritans are good for this if you just need someone to vomit words at; have you told your therapist what you are struggling with between sessions? Some therapists are ok with receiving email between sessions.

I would venture that your support network might be more available to lean on than you think, although it’s totally up to you of course.

Vomit words. Yes, I used to find Samaritans very helpful fir exactly this.

What do you think about me telling my immediate colleagues tomorrow that I am having difficulties? I am VERY private and they respect that normally. Work and private life is very separate for me. I just feel like someone needs to know.

They all know I’m doing extra work, but don’t know why (displacement activity, gives me a purpose, someone might notice and say thanks...pick any reason!)

Personally I think that if it could help,do it? Could you take a bit of time off to deal
With it all?

I don’t want time off. Work keeps me going.
I don’t want them to have to feel they need to ‘help’ though.

I told one or two trusted people, which I found helpful in keeping me grounded. It helped me to be specific in what I needed from them. I asked them based on our interpersonal relationship, rather than going to any particular line or function (OH, HR, etc).