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DS24 Has tried to take his own life

21 replies

Crazyladee · 28/11/2019 23:14

Sorry this may be long but I don't want to drip feed..

DS24 Has been feeling low and unstable for some time. He moved out of home last March to live with a friend. He's very young for his age and has made some stupid mistakes in his life regarding girlfriends, jobs money..you name it.
A few months ago we suspected he had been taking weed. He just changed. Became very hot headed, anxious and generally very unstable. We tried to talk to him but it was like banging our heads against a brick wall.
He lost his permanent full time job and so then got on at an agency just doing hours here and there. We bailed him out countless times with paying his share of rent, bills, food etc.
To cut a long story short, a few weeks ago he rang me for a chat. At the time, I was ill in bed. He said "sorry I won't disturb you if you're feeling unwell" and rang off. A few days later he rang me sobbing his heart out and said that when he rang me for that chat, he had actually been ringing me to say goodbye. Said he didn't want to live anymore, up to his neck in debts, feeling worthless, unloved etc. I feel I should mention that he has a very stable and loving family, had a normal childhood. Nan and grandad think the world of him as do his aunties and cousins etc. But he felt he was somehow letting the side down.
Completely shocked, we literally dropped everything and rallied around him. DH took him straight to A and E and saw the crisis team. There was a big stumbling block at the time because when he moved out of home, he moved out of the same county we live in, although he is only about 20 mins in the car away and never thought to register at his local GP.

Anyway, the crisis team assessed him and he ended up with a doctors appointment the next day. The GP prescribed him sertraline and referred him for a mental health assessment.
Last week, he had his mental health assessment and was put on a waiting list to see psychiatriactic doctor.

During this time, we had nightly check ins with him, told close family, who all again rallied around him.
We decided to help him tackle his debts. DH sat down with him and found out that he had approx £15k worth of debt majority of which was racked up within a few months. He admitted to spending this all on weed. DH took control of his accounts and saw citizens advice with an application for a debt relief order going in.
Last week, we got a phone call from his girlfriend. He had a row with his flatmate, took an overdose and whilst the tablets were kicking in, set up to hang himself with a metal chain from a punchbag round his neck. She found him and called an ambulance. He went to hospital and from there was transferred to an emergency mental unit.
Whilst assessing him, it's come to light that he has lied about the drug abuse. He's been taking weed for about 5 years and cocaine for about 5 months. They diagnosed with him having borderline personality disorder.
The doctor there rang DH and said they want to discharge him. We are terrified as he doesn't want to be discharged as he says there are voices in his head telling him to take his life and he knows that he will try and do it again. Also, he doesn't want to be on his own as he doesn't trust himself. They said its best for him if he goes out back into the community as its damaging for him to have a comfort blanket of being in hospital. He rang me from the hospital last night and said he had had a breakdown and had to be sedated as his girlfriend's mum rang him and gave him a load of abuse over the phone.

DH and I are going around in circles as the doctors from the mental unit have said he needs treatment for drug abuse and not mental health. But we rang a drug rehabilitation service today who said he needs to get his mental health sorted before he enters rehab. Catch 22.

He has said he absolutely doesn't want to go back to his house as he has bad memories there, there's easy access to whoever has been supplying him with the drugs and he doesn't trust himself.
He can't come home as I am a foster carer and work from home with disabled vulnerable adults and I certainly cannot have a recovering drug addict living here whether he's my son or not. I also cannot ask family members to put him up. He's wired, lashing out, laughing, crying, screaming. All presumably from withdrawing from the drugs.

We just don't know what to do. He needs for his own safety to be an inpatient dealing with detoxing and mental health. I've rang a private facility today who charges £5k a week which we absolutely cannot afford.
Sorry this is so long.

OP posts:
Crazyladee · 28/11/2019 23:16

Good grief sorry about the lack of paragraphs. I put them in but they haven't come out that way!

OP posts:
erinaceus · 28/11/2019 23:19

Hi,

This sounds like a really tough situation (understatement). Is your son still in hospital at the moment?

PeninsulaPanic · 29/11/2019 01:44

OP it goes without saying that I feel for you and your son in your plight. I can only imagine how helpless you must feel. From what you've disclosed it's clear that your son has to find alternative accommodation and also needs considerable monitoring wherever he's living, at least in the short term. Can you and DH and/or other family members get him in somewhere closer to home so that you're better able to keep an eye on and support him for the time being? Is his girlfriend part of the drugs scene he's been involved in? That won't help, if she's still around and potentially pulling him back. Very few people could afford private rehab in your situation but there's always NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meetings, and their website has a list of meetings by town/city/region. They really help a lot of people and it should be possible to go along with him to their 'open meetings' (regular meetings that family members can attend with users.) Just a suggestion, I can't think of anything else off the top of my head. It's really crucial that he's helped to put effective distance between himself and the social world he's been using drugs in, so however you can support and encourage him to do that will make a difference. Also, if there's some money available (as opposed to £5,000 a week) you could use the counselling directory website to find a therapist who'd start seeing him fairly promptly, even if only in the short term, to triage him mentally and emotionally.

ukna.org/meetings/search

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/

Pixxie7 · 29/11/2019 02:32

I do feel for you and can empathise as have had a daughter who got so low that she tried to take her own life, fortunately different story and no drugs involved.
Unfortunately resources just aren’t there unless you go privately, I was fortunate my daughter had insurance through work, so again circumstances different.
I know it’s difficult but you say your a foster carer maybe you need to take a break and look after your son. Yes he needs monitoring help etc but he also needs to know that as his mum you are there for him. Perhaps you could go and stay with him at his flat or your husband could it is a long road but from what you have said he needs to know that he comes first.

Woollycardi · 29/11/2019 09:09

Really feel for you and your son. I hope you can find a way to help him find the stability he clearly desperately needs, but I also hope that he is in a place where he is willing to start fighting for his own health and wellbeing.

Crazyladee · 29/11/2019 09:18

Thanks for the replies.
Yes he's still in the mental unit at the moment.
The place he is in is for short term emergencies.
We want him to go to a residential rehabilitation hospital but there's a massive beds shortage.

No his girlfriend is not involved whatsoever with the drugs side of things. She's very anti drugs as she lost a friend herself from drug taking.
As much as I'd like to quit my job and care for him, we simply cannot afford to do that. I'm the main earner in the household. Also we are using some of the money I earn to help him financially as we are paying some of his bills that are not in the debt relief order. We have just had to pay another month's share of his rent and no doubt will continue to do so til the tenancy finishes in March.

We were thinking of renting him a little flat near to where we live so we can easily keep an eye on him but to be honest that is further down the road when he has stopped the suicidal thoughts. For now, he needs round the clock monitoring so he cannot have access to means to take an overdose/hang himself.

OP posts:
erinaceus · 29/11/2019 09:46

On the practical side: your hope for him going into a residential rehabilitation hospital with round the clock monitoring paid for by the state is not realistic I don't think. If I were you I would try to arrange to meet with your son and the consultant or perhaps lead nurse responsible for his care to discus what options are available after discharge. Specifically, the crisis team can offer home treatment; some areas also have crisis houses which are a short-term step down from hospital.

Does your son have a sense of what might help him?

notapizzaeater · 29/11/2019 09:59

Are the facilities better in your area than his ? Could you try both ?

notapizzaeater · 29/11/2019 10:00

Could your DH move in with him temporarily whilst he gets sorted ?

ButiLoveHim32 · 29/11/2019 10:16

He can't come home as I am a foster carer and work from home with disabled vulnerable adults and I certainly cannot have a recovering drug addict living here whether he's my son or not
I'm sorry for the situation you are in, but if my son had attempted suicide and had nowhere to live, then they would absolutely 100% be coming home with me. Realistically it won't be forever. Even if he had to be crb checked, you don't say that he has been arrested or broken the law. He reached out to you, twice when he was feeling suicidal. It's obvious that he wanted his mum. He is in crisis, you should be the 1 person he can rely on.

Ironytheoppositeofwrinkly · 29/11/2019 10:38

You say you cannot afford to quit work as a Foster carer, I'm sorry but your son needs to come first. His bills can wait, you can set up a payment plan etc. His situation sounds precarious and I feel if you don't drop everything to get him well again, you could well be planning his funeral soon. Unfortunately it's well known that mental health services are well underfunded and over subscribed, so as a parent you need to take matters into your own hands.

Crazyladee · 29/11/2019 12:24

Unfortunately as much as I'd love to quit my job and care for him, I'm not in a financial position to do that. It's easy to reply to a thread and say "if it was my son, he would come first and come back home in a heartbeat" Of course he comes first and I've had sleepless night the past week just worried sick about him. But as i said, I'm the main earner and although his bills can wait, mine can't.. my mortgage company definately wouldn't be very sympathetic if the mortgage didn't get paid.

We have a younger son who is terrified of him. My eldest is being very vocal about his feelings and I've just spoken to him now and listened to a torrent of anger over the phone. Screaming about smashing things up, punching walls and he's generally being completely irrational. They had to give him a sedative again to calm him down as last night he had another kind of breakdown.

And just supposing I resigned with immediate effect and brought him home, it would be like having a volcano in the house. And how could I stop him from going behind my back and getting hold of pills or drugs to take an overdose again or stop him from wrapping the washing line around his neck or leaving the house and jumping in front of a train? All of which he's threatened to do if he gets discharged now?

I'm actually house bound right now as on top of this, I had a major operation a couple of weeks ago and I'm still recovering from that.

OP posts:
Sarawish · 29/11/2019 13:28

This sounds like a horrendous situation. I don’t have any advice, but wanted to send some sympathy and good thoughts your way. The lack of services in this country is a disgrace. I hope you find a suitable solution.

erinaceus · 29/11/2019 13:46

I’m inclined to agree with you that having your son come and live with you is not necessarily the most useful route forward. If you are a foster career I would imagine that you are used to systems and processes and risk assessments and the like. Are you able to have a collaborative sort of conversation with the clinician responsible for your son’s care?

Does your son have any suggestions?

Woollycardi · 29/11/2019 14:23

You're right, even in your house, you would not be able to stop him acting on his thoughts, so in my opinion your best bet right now is to keep communicating to those whose care he is currently under about the threats he is making to you about his own life.

ncfamilysaga · 29/11/2019 21:31

Why are you planning to continue paying for his flat? Are you the guarantors? I strongly advise you get legal advice. Of course social care would aim to return him into a property that is already paid for. You need to look at it in cold financial terms.

Crazyladee · 29/11/2019 21:45

No we're not guarantors. The direct debit for the full amount comes out of his flatmate's bank account.
We have been paying half of DS's rent to his flatmate so he's not out of pocket.

All the professionals have agreed going back to that flat isn't an option for him. In fact the mental health doctor has drafted a letter to the landlord to say the tenancy needs to come to an end due to his mental health.

OP posts:
ncfamilysaga · 29/11/2019 22:07

Has he been told he isn't going back to the flat?

I know it's hard but he would probably understand he can't come home, because you have to think about your younger son too.

ncfamilysaga · 01/12/2019 13:13

How is it going OP? Have you spoken to a mental health charity e.g. Rethink for advice? Is he telling the Dr's he is suicidal or just you?

One thing I have done for DB is changing his number, so that people he has wronged cannot contact him. Your DS is not well and this feeds into the stress/paranoia. Remove all traces of dealers numbers (they will call and call, also users sell numbers to dealers). Inform the hospital GF's mum cannot contact him. Perhaps contact GFs mum to find out what the story is, there may be more you do not know.

When he is better, he needs to write letters to the people he has wronged and tell them how he is making amends.

You could get temporary power of attorney over his finances/benefits.

If he goes into temporary accommodation, arranging for someone to visit every day, and also help him along to groups e.g. hearing voices support groups, Cocaine Anonymous cocaineanonymous.org.uk/.

Once he sees a psychiatrist presumably they will prescribe medication. What does he think of the BPD diagnosis? That will tell you a lot. If he doesn't agree with the diagnosis, see the need for medication (or alternatives - I'm not disputing symptoms can reduce with diet, exercise etc.), then it can be a revolving door of psychiatric admission for years. Getting stable on medication is the number one priority IMHO. I would also recommend reading up about BPD. I only did this (DB has schizophrenia) about 10 years on (I was younger) and wish I had sooner.

I would also consider speaking to the psychiatrist about ADHD or seeking a private diagnosis, from what you mention re. impulsivity. 25% of people with BPD have ADHD. Also ADHD is sometimes misdiagnosed as BPD. Medication for ADHD affects the brain in a not dissimilar way to cocaine. Both BPD and ADHD can be medicated together. For a lot of people, an ADHD diagnosis is a light bulb moment. There is some info attached.

He needs to understand that he self-medicates with cocaine/weed and he has to find an alternative that is not harmful.

As tempting as it is to want to rent a flat for him longer term, young men want to be independent. It doesn't do a lot for self-esteem to feel reliant on family, it feeds into feelings of failure and low self-worth and shame.

He needs a supportive place to live while he works out what work he wants to do, somewhere that gives him a second chance at finding a job and paying his bills.

DB would probably have benefitted from something like The Prince's Trust: www.princes-trust.org.uk/help-for-young-people/programmes#getting_a_job

And if work isn't an option at the moment and you decide to rent a flat etc., he needs to solve the problem of how he is going to spend his time - volunteering, or doing a course etc.

IMHO it is so important to find a positive support network early on, one where they feel accepted, not judged and understood. So a relationship with a good doctor he can openly talk to, the local recovery teams etc., local groups etc. DB did Recovery College and this helped him a lot to understand his Mental Health (www.therecoverycollege.co.uk/what-is-recovery/4-what-is-a-recovery-college). You can use it to come up with WRAP Plans (agreed plans as to what to do in a crisis).

DB pays his bills by Standing Order on the day he is paid. I also put a note on his credit files (there are only three credit reference agencies in the UK, you can write to them individually) about his diagnosis and to ask to refuse him credit. He agreed to it. It can be removed without trace in future.

I wish him well in recovery, and good luck to you Flowers

DS24 Has tried to take his own life
ncfamilysaga · 01/12/2019 13:26

I should add that the credit note doesn't stop DB taking drugs (he is 40 now so it's probably too late for him, sad reality), but it stops him getting into debt because of drugs which is a toxic combination.

I also have access to his credit file, so I can see if he has made applications for credit. He tried once, never again, probably not worth it for the wrath of his sister Grin.

There is a booklet on MSE here: www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide/

DB's debt/extent of drug problems only came to light about 5 years ago, your DS has way more time if he can get a handle on it now.

The brain does not stop developing until age 30, any resources you can put into helping your DS now will help but in true mumsnet advice, only give what you can afford, financially, mentally/emotionally.

You need support too, I would strongly advise contacting or going along to Ad Fam: adfam.org.uk/.

No judgement here. Anyone that judges has truly not lived it [flowers[

ncfamilysaga · 01/12/2019 13:27
Flowers
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