Sorry this may be long but I don't want to drip feed..
DS24 Has been feeling low and unstable for some time. He moved out of home last March to live with a friend. He's very young for his age and has made some stupid mistakes in his life regarding girlfriends, jobs money..you name it.
A few months ago we suspected he had been taking weed. He just changed. Became very hot headed, anxious and generally very unstable. We tried to talk to him but it was like banging our heads against a brick wall.
He lost his permanent full time job and so then got on at an agency just doing hours here and there. We bailed him out countless times with paying his share of rent, bills, food etc.
To cut a long story short, a few weeks ago he rang me for a chat. At the time, I was ill in bed. He said "sorry I won't disturb you if you're feeling unwell" and rang off. A few days later he rang me sobbing his heart out and said that when he rang me for that chat, he had actually been ringing me to say goodbye. Said he didn't want to live anymore, up to his neck in debts, feeling worthless, unloved etc. I feel I should mention that he has a very stable and loving family, had a normal childhood. Nan and grandad think the world of him as do his aunties and cousins etc. But he felt he was somehow letting the side down.
Completely shocked, we literally dropped everything and rallied around him. DH took him straight to A and E and saw the crisis team. There was a big stumbling block at the time because when he moved out of home, he moved out of the same county we live in, although he is only about 20 mins in the car away and never thought to register at his local GP.
Anyway, the crisis team assessed him and he ended up with a doctors appointment the next day. The GP prescribed him sertraline and referred him for a mental health assessment.
Last week, he had his mental health assessment and was put on a waiting list to see psychiatriactic doctor.
During this time, we had nightly check ins with him, told close family, who all again rallied around him.
We decided to help him tackle his debts. DH sat down with him and found out that he had approx £15k worth of debt majority of which was racked up within a few months. He admitted to spending this all on weed. DH took control of his accounts and saw citizens advice with an application for a debt relief order going in.
Last week, we got a phone call from his girlfriend. He had a row with his flatmate, took an overdose and whilst the tablets were kicking in, set up to hang himself with a metal chain from a punchbag round his neck. She found him and called an ambulance. He went to hospital and from there was transferred to an emergency mental unit.
Whilst assessing him, it's come to light that he has lied about the drug abuse. He's been taking weed for about 5 years and cocaine for about 5 months. They diagnosed with him having borderline personality disorder.
The doctor there rang DH and said they want to discharge him. We are terrified as he doesn't want to be discharged as he says there are voices in his head telling him to take his life and he knows that he will try and do it again. Also, he doesn't want to be on his own as he doesn't trust himself. They said its best for him if he goes out back into the community as its damaging for him to have a comfort blanket of being in hospital. He rang me from the hospital last night and said he had had a breakdown and had to be sedated as his girlfriend's mum rang him and gave him a load of abuse over the phone.
DH and I are going around in circles as the doctors from the mental unit have said he needs treatment for drug abuse and not mental health. But we rang a drug rehabilitation service today who said he needs to get his mental health sorted before he enters rehab. Catch 22.
He has said he absolutely doesn't want to go back to his house as he has bad memories there, there's easy access to whoever has been supplying him with the drugs and he doesn't trust himself.
He can't come home as I am a foster carer and work from home with disabled vulnerable adults and I certainly cannot have a recovering drug addict living here whether he's my son or not. I also cannot ask family members to put him up. He's wired, lashing out, laughing, crying, screaming. All presumably from withdrawing from the drugs.
We just don't know what to do. He needs for his own safety to be an inpatient dealing with detoxing and mental health. I've rang a private facility today who charges £5k a week which we absolutely cannot afford.
Sorry this is so long.