Struggling with anxiety after traumatic event

[Katrinawaves]

A few weeks ago I learned that my DH has been having an affair and over the course of the last few weeks more and more info has leaked out culminating in him disclosing last week that during our marriage he’s had several affairs, ONS and slept with prostitutes.

To say I’m struggling would be putting it mildly. I’m having bad panic attacks and am frequently tearful and generally finding it hard to concentrate on work and family issues. I barely sleep. Today I’ve come home from work early because I feel so unwell.

I tried to make an appointment with doctor but can’t be seen until Friday. I do have a previous history of serious depressive illness and anxiety. Not sure what to do and just asking for some advice and handholding in here.

Please don’t use this thread as an excuse to slag my OH off or to be horrible to me for having lived with a man like this as i really can’t mentally cope with that just at the moment. But if you can help with advice on managing the anxiety and bad feelings at least until Friday evening I’d be really grateful.

I'm really sorry. Can you call in sick tomorrow at least so you don't have to put a brave face on at work? No real advice on coping with panic attacks except to breathe and keep telling yourself silently you'll be ok and this will go. Hope things work out for you.

Sounds like you need professional help now. You could ring your doctor's first thing and request an emergency appointment tomorrow.

You can ring Samaritans on 116123 if you feel like you can't cope tonight. Do you have any sympathetic friends or relations irl you could talk to?

This too shall pass.

The appointment on Friday was the emergency appointment unfortunately. They won’t give me an earlier one and the normal wait for a routine appointment here is about 3 weeks.

My friends IRL don’t know about the prostitutes (and vast sums of money spent) and I can’t at the moment face telling them. The Samaritans may be a good call. Thank you x

Does your employer have an employee support line? Many do, but it's not always well publicised. With regard to seeing your GP - I have found that if I phone up and say "my mental health is very bad and I really need to speak to a GP today" they are very good and will get someone to phone me that day. I appreciate that not all surgeries are the same though.

You could give lifeline a call if you just feel you need to vent to someone outside of your circle until your GP app.
I’m sure this has been such a shock for you, I would give work a miss for a while until you feel more on top of things. Check if your workplace offers a counselling service, many do now and it’s def worth getting involved if they do.
Hopefully your GP can offer some talking therapy as well as anti anxiety meds for a short time until you are coping with this.
For now, there will be little anyone can say to make you feel better but remember that this is temporary, it’s shit- yes and hurts a lot but you won’t feel like this long term. Your own strength will prevail and you will be ok.
Sending strength and prayers to you. Take care of yourself first and foremost.

Hope you're doing ok OP.

I really hope you're not at work today. You must put yourself top of the list of all priorities now. You know you are at risk due to your own history, you have received shocking news which will continue to reverberate out into all areas of your life, you can't contain this, nor should you have to. We are absolutely holding your hand at this point, please take of yourself, let your work go, allow yourself to heal. All the pain that is coming up right now needs to be felt so the rest of life is going to need to slide. Do you have kids? Can they go to someone else for a few days so you can do what you need to do?