Counselling?

[FallingApartNC]

I've been suffering from depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, agoraphobia and probably ptsd for some time.
I finally plucked up the courage to try to get some help and made an appointment with a GP. I was prescribed antidepressants and told to self refer for talk therapy. The medication hasn't done anything to help.
I have an apppointment soon with the counselling service for an assessment. I'm very nervous. Can anyone who has done this before tell me what the assessment will be like and what I'll have to talk about? All they told me was the assessment is a face to face with a mental health worker and will last about an hour.

Well done you for seeking help. That’s great.
How long have you been on the medication? I can take a few weeks to kick in.
What is the counselling? I did CBT and found it really useful.

It's been a few months, I've tried two different ones so far.
I don't know, I think that's what the assessment is for, so they can tell me what kind of counselling I need.

I get counselling and I had to do the assessment first too. She asked me questions about my life for example how many siblings, children, relationship status, whether I’ve suffered with DV, etc. I actually cried during my assessment to the lady because of what was going on in my life at that point in time, but she was so supportive and my counsellor (a different lady) is lovely. I’ve been going since May. The feelings of anxiety etc is still there like before but she’s taught me how to deal with it etc. The way I describe counselling is I feel like it’s my get away from reality and I’m in that room with the counsellor and no one knows but her on how I feel etc. A bit like I’m in a bubble. I feel like she cares. She’s often come back to me the following week saying “I’ve been thinking of what you said last week..” etc and she actually goes away and prepares things to actually help me. It’s not like she forgets when I leave the room. She’s helped me with my feelings that I couldn’t explain. I still have a lot of unexplained feelings of my previous relationship which was DV and I couldn’t explain how I felt but she’s helped me know how I felt if that makes sense. There’s been some days where I’ve been so tired and not wanted to go but I forced myself and I’m so glad I do. I’ve missed 2 sessions since May and that was because I couldn’t get someone to look after my DD in the half terms. I also wanted female and not male and they understood and respected why. I’m sorry that I waffled on I just wanted to share my experience. I was also on medication too when I came out of the relationship but it make my anxiety worse after 3 weeks but it stopped me from getting too depressed so it was 5050 with my medication. I chose to come off it.

My experience has been they will just talk through everything that has happened to you. Current stuff, childhood experiences etc to work out what help you need. They asked gentle open questions plus a few blunt ones with a prior warning it was blunt, eg do you feel you are currently at risk of harming yourself. I've always had to complete depression, anxiety, and phobia questionnaires before each session (including the initial assessment). I have had to self-refer twice. The first time I was offered counselling sessions, and this time I am having CBT sessions (had 6 of 8 so far). Both have been incredibly effective (different issues each time hence different treatments), and I felt an improvement even just after the inital assessments: I too was really nervous about them (I'd never spoken about some of the things I knew would need to be said), but after felt like I wasn't alone anymore and that I now had help. It was a huge relief. I found there was a couple of months between first assessment and treatment beginning though, so be aware that might also be the case for you, but found the thought that help was on its way helped see me through that bit. Or at least stopped things getting worse.

Some lovely responses here, and helpful. I hope your assessment goes well, OP.

Thanks @CraftyCorvid

@LovemyDDxx and @skankingpiglet I'm glad it has helped you both. Thank you so much for your replies, that is just what I needed to hear

I was asked if I would prefer to see a female for my assessment and I said I didn't mind either way so my appointment is with a man. I guess I thought the very personal stuff wouldn't happen until the actual counselling sessions but it sounds like the assessment is also quite detailed. I don't know if it will make a difference if I'm talking to a male or female. I'm generally rubbish about talking about feelings and stuff and will probably just be crying too much to talk anyway. That's what usually happens when I see the gp. It's so embarrassing.
I have also never told anyone about some of the stuff that I probably do need to talk about. Do they put a lot of pressure on you to talk about the difficult stuff or do they allow you to not answer things you're not comfortable with?

@FallingApartNC They never put pressure on me. But I do see it as the more I tell them the more they can actually help me. If that makes sense. Like for example when my parents broke up, I never discussed my feelings and unfortunately no one back then really questioned about how I felt, it was all about my parents. I was 11 and I’m now 28 next month and some feelings my counsellor has helped me to understand I didn’t even realised I felt, I have an emotional scar from the break up too as I was dragged into it, I can’t really explain it so I hope it makes sense. Another example is my DV relationship with my DD’s father, she is the first person to actually say to me “you sounded scared”, I didn’t tell her I was scared but when I told her part of the story she said “you sounded like you were scared” and it was such a relief to hear that someone understood me.

Please feel free to PM me or comment if anything. Counselling is playing a big part of my life right now and it helps so much. Good luck with the assessment.

I have to have a second assessment next week. He told me to go away and think about whether I actually wanted to engage with the service or if I was just there because the gp had told me to. I found a lot of his questions very hard to answer. Not because I don't want help from the service just because these are things that I've never spoken about before. I'm not good at talking about feelings at the best of times and right now I am so very far from the best of times. I spent the whole hour fighting back tears. Once I start crying I can't speak at all and plus I'm such an ugly crier and it doesn't stop for hours once it starts so I find it very embarrassing to cry in front of people.

What happens to all the information I gave him, he wrote down lots of notes, does that go on my medical records?