Health Anxiety or real illness?

[justcantthink]

Why do I think I’m dying with every ailment? I’m the same with my children and its effecting my life not to mention my husbands as I’m getting him the same way.

I’ve been like this since my daughter was born 15 years ago. Everyone laughs at me calling me a hypochondriac, rushing to the doctors every two minutes but what they don’t know is that deep inside its crushing me and making me ill. I lose weight with the stress and keep awake most nights worrying.

My latest episode of anxiety is both myself and my son (5). He went to bed the other night complaining he had a banging head, right away I thought brain tumour. I booked an opticians appointment within 5 minutes. He now tells me it is sore when he touches it and I do remember the other night him banging his head, it really hurt him. I’m still convinced he has a brain tumour and I have been awake most of the night waiting for him to wake up crying in pain (googled the symptoms), but he didn’t, he woke up happy asking for his breakfast. But I’m at work and can’t get out of my head the brain tumour and what if?

The anxiety for me is an issue that has been ongoing for several weeks. I’ve felt nauseous, I’ve had awful headaches for 4 weeks on and off but is this just stress? I’ve got lots of stressful stuff on with work at the moment. My stomach hurts and I’m constipated so I’m thinking bowel cancer or maybe stomach cancer. Over the weekend I was so ill with shivering, headache, eye strain that I had to lie down to keep still and skip dinner with my family.

Its never ending, I’ve had CBT which didn’t really work and I can’t take tablets because I think I’ll die with them. Am I on my own feeling like this? I sound absolutely ridiculous I know, it’s effecting my husband as he is questioning the brain tumour because I keep going on about it.

I have an appointment on Monday to arrange for full bloods done to rule out anything serious. No matter what anyone says to me I’m still convinced something bad is going to happen.

Just asking for advice on how to deal with these situations Thanks for reading.

I used to be EXACTLY the same. My dd would go pale during winter months and I'd convince myself that she had leukaemia. Spotting any bruise on her would have me hyperventilating and crying. I even used to do those online consult Dr things that you have to pay for.

I was the same with myself. I used to get so wound up about taking any meds in case I was allergic and had anaphylaxis. I eventually got around it by taking just one tablet and then distracting myself with a shower or something so that five mins passed and then I knew I'd be ok. I would also always make sure that there was someone else in the house.

I was paranoid about blood tests, thinking they were accidentally going to put air bubbles in my veins that would kill me. I used to panic about all sorts of stupid stuff! But Nothing. Ever. Happened.

I'm sorry to say it but it was medication that made me better. And you need it. You have no idea what your life could be like with it. Please - go to your GP. Tell them exactly how you feel, they will help. Don't hold back.

You don't need to feel like this.

Please PM me if I can help in any way.

LissJas

Oh thank you so much for replying. I'm actually crying at my desk reading this. It's awful feeling this way and I know its not normal but I can't help it. I've been carrying my phone around the office with me incase my son's school rings to tell me they've phoned an ambulance for him. He's ok though but I'm not 100% convinced. My whole body is aching because of the stress.

What sort of tablets do you take LissJas I think the doctor prescribed me setraline 3 years ago. I just threw them eventually as I was fed up of seeing them in the cupboard

See I would deal with the symptoms one by one, not by rushing to the doctor for a diagnosis, but looking for natural remedies.

If I feel like shit, get more sleep, stock up on vitamins, eat healthily. Try and reclaim some time for me, and put in place strategies at work. If needed get signed off for a week with stress.

That way, I feel like I am doing something and not ignoring the problem. And ultimately what you find is that MOST symptoms melt away.

Don't get me wrong, I am the first to go for a blood test, but I do all the other things too.

Also - and this is VERY IMPORTANT - stay off Dr Google.

GoldfishGirl Thanks for your reply.

I do try to eat as healthy as I can. I have blueberries and oranges most days, fish, lots of water and take Vitamin D. Sleeping is hard work due to waking up several times. I do need to exercise more. I've stopped walking due to the cold but thats a rubbish excuse I know.

I try not to rush to the doctor with my problems but when it comes to my children I'm just overwhelmed with fear and I convince myself the worst. I wish I could deal with my symptoms one by one but I can't there is far too much going on in my head.

I take Sertraline. It's part of a more complex diagnosis for me, but I've suffered with very severe anxiety all my life and this medicine has transformed things for me.

It took about 3-4 days to start working.

I know how shit scared you feel because I've been there. Many, many times. But like I said before, you CAN make this go away. I can't describe how wonderful it is to think about things normally again. I used to be a bit OCD with it too, like if I didn't press a button within 20 seconds then my dd would die. Stupid things like that!

Seriously, PM me. I'm more than happy to help if I can. X

Can I pm people whilst I'm using the app??

Hi op

I had to reply as this was me the whole of last year, it started as I became a mum and had a very traumatic labor.
Someone in my area died shortly after birth of sepsis (I hadn't even heard of sepsis) but I convinced myself I had it and would die. I stopped sleeping because I was sure that was when it would happen.
Strangely, I have never worried about my son's health only my own and what would my family do without me.
We even went private as I was sure I had cancer. For me, actually talking to a doctor who showed empathy changed my life.
At one point my husband disabled all internet in the house and on devices because I was becoming obsessed with go ogling symptoms.
Everyone one is different, but like you I did not want to be medicated. Fresh air and meditation have been a game changer for me. I still have the odd wobble about once a month (when I'm due on) but I learn to accept those feelings, rationalise them and have a long hot shower washing my worries away.
I really hope you find something that works for you x

Hi OP
I have this and it really is awful so my sympathies lie with you. Pretty much daily I think that my family have been in a car crash and I make myself physically sick seeing bruises on them thinking they have leukimka etc. I have had the same anxiety about brain tumours where I used to analyse the way I walked and talked convincing myself I had one. It's absolutely life changing and hard to explain to others!

I have tried sertraline but unfortunately it didnt work for me but I think it could be worth a go? Watching with interest.

I am still battling it but I do think exercise helps me in addition to taking a range of vitamins! I am going through crb too

You are totally not alone.

I had cbt twice and also didn't find it really made much of a difference and like you I'm too terrified to take medication.

I've lost count of the types of cancer I've believed I've had.

I've got really bad heart burn from a hiatal hernia and spend a great deal of my time worrying about whether I have something more sinister.

It's such a lonely place because you know you're making it up yet it feels so real. Unless you have health anxiety I don't think you can really understand how debilitating it is.

It's so hard to know where to turn but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone x

I don't have anything useful to add or suggest but couldn't help myself to post just to say you're not alone. It's impossible for me to express just how much your post resonates with me.

My life has been totally taken over by health anxiety the last few years and it's totally out of control despite my rational minds best efforts.

I took a low dose of Sertraline towards the end of my last pregnancy (4 years ago) due to it and I must admit they helped, and looking back I was a different person. I came off them after about a year and was okay for a while but since then it has got worse. I have had a couple of doctors appointments whereby I have gone in there adamant that I'm going back on the medication...then I read the side effects on the leaflet and I chicken out as I know that I will then start obsessing about that, there is literally no winning!

I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant and have diagnosed myself with a whole host of rare, life threatening illnesses so far. I have considered going back on the medication but I have come this far into the pregnancy, I'm desperate to hold out for the next 15 weeks as yet again I will just flap about the side effects on the baby so in some ways it's just easier to struggle on!

Also I just wanted to say that my newest part of the anxiety is also worrying about an anaphylactic reaction to various tablets/etc so I know how you feel @LissJas. I haven't come across any other posts that mention this specifically so I suddenly don't feel as lonely!

I wish us all a solution to this one day x

THIS is health anxiety it's not your fault. It's the illness. I have it. It's hell. Get help if you can through GP xx

I feel your pain, its awful. I've always found going to the forums on no more panic helpful. They have a symptoms page and I found if I searched whatever ailment I thought I had and saw countless posts thinking the same it kind of defused the unhelpful thoughts.

I also had a great GP who explained the physiological processes that lead to the physical symptoms that I was experiencing.