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In a mess

5 replies

MessedUp · 27/09/2004 12:12

Don't know where to start really, but head in a big mess. I'm a regular poster on Mumsnet but have changed my name as I'm embarrased about this and need your support.

DH came home on Friday having been away on business. He was on the internet during the evening. I was outside tidying up and saw thru the window that he was looking at porn pictures - at 7.45 in the evening - with ds2 asleep in the lounge......

Anyway, I told him what I'd seen and he apologised. It wouldn't be so much of an issue except that since ds2 was born, nearly a year ago, intimacy has been non-existant. I'm not proud of that but I don't know what to do to get it back. I'm now completely messed up, brought to a head with what I saw. I'm not kidding myself that it's a one off incident, I know that he's a regular user of porn. I'm not a prude, it doesn't normally bother me, but when there is nothing happening between us.....then that's different.

I'm feeling low, feeling crap, house is a tip (as usual), two little ones under 3, I just don't know which way is up anymore. We agreed to talk at the weekend and this just didn't happen and now I feel that its been forgotten.....only it hasn't. I just don't have the energy to make waves.....guess I'll live with it.

Sorry, rant over. It looks a bit trivial written down.

OP posts:
TracyK · 27/09/2004 12:15

It may be better to use the internet than to have an affair - which i'm sure most men are capable of - especially after having kids.
my poor dh hasn't had any action since Xmas! my ds is 7mo almost.
tbh - i don't have time to worry about his feelings or the energy to do anything about getting myself back to my old self. I've explained this to him - but I think he thinks he's the only man in the world not getting any action!

yingers74 · 27/09/2004 12:19

Hey, don't give up trying to talk about it as it obviously bothers you.
I know how it can be, sometimes you are both so busy and tired with running after kids, chores and life that before you know you can't remember the last time you have made love!
Is there anyone that can have yout children for an afternoon or even day to give you time to discuss it alone?

Skate · 27/09/2004 12:19

He isn't!

Skate · 27/09/2004 12:20

Oops, overlapped with yingers - meant your dh TracyK! Mine isn't either but I'm only 4 weeks post-birth so still 'safe' at the moment

MessedUp · 27/09/2004 12:56

Thanks for your replies.

There's not really anyone who could look after the kids.

I'll try and sit down with dh tonight once the kids are in bed and talk to him about stuff.

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