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Original poster

can't stop blubbering and it's all about work again.....rant alert :(

58 replies

Galaxy · 27/09/2004 11:19

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littlemissbossy · 27/09/2004 11:23

aawh Galaxy, poor you no words of wisdom from me really, I too can remember feeling just like this
can't you phone in sick ?? you obviously need a break
Leeds is dull and grey today

littlemissbossy · 27/09/2004 11:25

btw, what kind of job do you do?

Tinker · 27/09/2004 11:25

Oh Galaxy, so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed by everything. Maybe jacking the job in would be the best solution. I know money would be tight be a) am confident you'd get another job and b) you could move to a smaller house if you had to? ATM you presumably don't want to but you could? I'm just trying to say that soemtimes you can only see the black side when you're overwhelmed. Sorry if none of this is any use.

Original poster
Galaxy · 27/09/2004 11:44

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Tinker · 27/09/2004 11:47

Hmm, sorry suggestion was rubbish Galaxy. Will think on. Is there any chance (prob not) that you could ask for a 3 month sabbatical - to get you better and give you time to really look for something else?

littlemissbossy · 27/09/2004 11:58

If you're seriously unhappy, as you appear to be, change your job - for the good of your health and sanity.
I too had an exec-type job, good salary, great benefits, company car etc but was so stressed out I really was on the verge of a nervous breakdown and something had to give. So I packed it in. Everyone at work at the time thought I was completely bonkers ... but it was the best thing I ever did. On the day I resigned, I cried with relief on the way home, a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Yes I miss the money and the nice car, who wouldn't, but I have never, ever regretted the decision I made. I then went on to take a part-time job that fitted around the kids better and now I work for my dh but from home. Sorry, I don't know whether this helps, but wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling like this Galaxy x

Petesmum · 27/09/2004 11:58

Hello Galaxy, how much has your job changed recently ? We've been going through a redundancy situation at work and although I've been lucky enough to escape the problem, my friends tell me that if your job has / is changed by 50% or more, your employer is required to offer you the options of redundancy or the new job (basically a change of 50%+ is classed as a new job for you) Might be worth checking these facts with Citizens Advise. Could help you negotiate with your boss ?? Good luck.

Original poster
Galaxy · 27/09/2004 12:01

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Petesmum · 27/09/2004 12:15

I'm trying to think of other options for you Galaxy, as your problem sounds just like what my DH & I are going through at the moment. We're getting to the point of having to admit that one of us will have to put our career on hold for a few years (or forever?) Which is a nightmare as we both love our jobs, but hate the hours - our main arguement is over who's working late & won't be home till 10pm!

Could you agree with your boss that you'll work from home doing admin stuff Monday & Friday but travel the rest of the week ? Not ideal but it could give you a bit of a break & still keep your job.

yurtgirl · 27/09/2004 12:15

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Original poster
Galaxy · 27/09/2004 13:10

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littlemissbossy · 27/09/2004 13:16

Yes, I agree it always feels better to let off steam!
Let us know how you get on with your boss tomorrow

Original poster
Galaxy · 27/09/2004 13:18

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Original poster
Galaxy · 27/09/2004 20:04

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Tinker · 27/09/2004 20:07

Hope something works out for you. Cor, a steak and wine in peace, there are some compensations

Original poster
Galaxy · 27/09/2004 20:08

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essbee · 27/09/2004 20:12

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Miaou · 27/09/2004 20:14

Just caught up with this Galaxy, hope things improve for you soon, wish I had some advice for you - you never know what's round the corner though.

Petesmum · 28/09/2004 09:52

Dear Galaxy, hope today is a better one for you. You are not alone with this work / life battle. Last night I left work at 5.30 (having done 10 hours already)drove 30 miles home, bathed & put DS to to bed, got back in the car drove 30 miles back to work, finished at 12.30am, drove home and collasped into bed. And here I am at work again bracing myself for another horrid day. I am starting to think that my parents generation had the right idea, have children and the mum stops working!

tallulah · 28/09/2004 10:53

If you are in tears all the time, can't you go sick?

I had a period a few years ago where one particular girl at work was upsetting me. Things came to a head when the boss called me in and told me off for not being a "team player". At that point I burst into tears, which embarrassed both of us. Went to the GP, burst into tears again while explaining the situation & she signed me off for 2 weeks. Gave me the breathing space to sort out what I wanted to do.

(Now I'm the golden girl of my new office, who see me as their BEST "team player" ! )

Not quite same situation, but maybe you need that space?

essbee · 28/09/2004 10:58

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AuntyQuated · 28/09/2004 11:00

sorry, haven't read any of this thread so i may be repeating others.. does she have a union, could CAB help. sorry i've no knowledge on this

Petesmum · 28/09/2004 11:33

If Galaxy doesn't have a union she could try calling a firm of solicitors who specialise in employment law. They should give 1 hours free advice. Sounds to me like her employer is changing her job conditions / contract without her agreement or even consulting her which I understand isn't right or legal (?) Likewise all employers are bound by the new family friendly working laws - see www.acas.org for a summary of the laws on this. I hope this advise helps - I'll be thinking of you Galaxy. Good luck.

Skate · 28/09/2004 12:01

Galaxy - I'm with Tallulah - it's not a solution but in the meantime, it sounds like you should get down to the GP and get your self signed off work with stress. At least this way you can get your head together and think seriously about your options without work and travel getting in the way.

There is nothing to be ashamed of in doing this - my brother is only in his mid 20's and was signed off work with stress for a month last year (he is a police officer). It did him the world of good. If everything is getting on top of you and you are not coping, panicking etc, continuing on that treadmill is not giving you time to think clearly.

Do you have a union rep? Otherwise, like others have said, contact CAB.

HTH - I feel sad for you . You are clearly worried sick and I hope you can work something out soon.

In the meantime - TAKE TIME OUT. Please. Big hugs to you.

soapbox · 28/09/2004 12:05

I think she would have a good case for constructive dismissal and sex discrimination. She does need to speak to an employment lawyer, but as always, having done the legal approach myself in the past, it should be seen as a fraught and stressful process.

TBH - I'm not sure I would do it again

But Galaxy could well get a good settlement out of this approach and she is the one who needs to weigh up the pros and cons!