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Struggling at 21 weeks pregnant - anxiety/depression is back

5 replies

lonelyonee · 18/11/2019 22:55

Hoping this is a more suited place to post rather than in pregnancy, so here goes.
Background - was diagnosed a few years ago with depression & was on citalopram for a while. It did help a bit, managed to pull me out of a dark hole and eventually I stopped taking it and began to manage my feelings on my own. Work place - there has been an issue with bullying/general treatment of myself and other colleagues in past but still quite recent, and in some ways ongoing.

Fast forward to now, 21 weeks pregnant with first baby and today in particular I feel like I've just hit rock bottom all over again.
I have been excessively angry and volatile during my pregnancy but it seems to be getting increasingly worse as time goes on.
I have to make it clear I am very happy about the baby and so so excited about his arrival!
I've also noticed an increase in my obsessive behaviours. More list making, and I am also finding myself working out my finances every single day. I just cannot relax.
Negative thoughts have crept in including noticing behaviours of colleagues with me and I have to question myself as I know I'm prone to paranoia about these things sometimes.
I guess I just feel really overwhelmed and I don't feel like anyone I know personally will understand. I find it difficult to talk about things in person so even though partner has asked me why I'm so upset I just can't manage to speak to him about it.
Just looking for some support or someone to talk to without being criticised for feeling this way really, I suppose.
Sorry about the long post, trying not to drip feed too much info. Happy to answer q's though.
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
lonelyonee · 19/11/2019 07:22

Hopeful bump

OP posts:
lonelyonee · 19/11/2019 13:46

Another hopeful bump.

OP posts:
lonelyonee · 19/11/2019 21:21

Yet another hopeful bump ☹️

OP posts:
lonelyonee · 20/11/2019 18:45

Last ditch attempt at some traffic

OP posts:
Nic165 · 21/11/2019 16:15

@lonelyonee I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I have a long history of depression, haven't been on anti depressants in about 10 years now but have struggled through each of my 2 pregnancies. The last one I had ante natal and post natal depression. I had CBT which helped a little and I finally felt like I was getting out of that dark place, only to fall pregnant again. I'm now 11 weeks with my 3rd and I feel my mood plummeting again. I just don't want to do anything, zero energy, can't even be bothered putting make up on. Doesn't help I feel isolated with extreme nausea and vomiting - no one really understands how debilitating it is. Have you been suffering from sickness too? As that definitely makes things worse. I am reluctant to go into anti depressants while pregnant so have a drs appointment to line up medication as soon as I give birth in the hopes I will not experience the same level of hopelessness as last time. Sorry for the long post. I hope you have support at home and someone understanding to talk to. I know too well how lonely and hopeless this can make you feel

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