Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Would you reach out to this person?

3 replies

hopeidontforgetthisusername · 16/11/2019 09:25

Long story short, there is a lady of similar age to myself who is in a relationship with my Dad. They seem to break up very frequently and when this happens things are posted very publicly on FB about how he is controlling and manipulating and the things he makes her do and comparing it to his previous wives. In fairness she seemed really lovely the few times I met her but is probably a bit vulnerable and I feel really sorry for her. when she does this I feel like messaging her (privately) to say please don't do this to yourself, please stay away from him for your own good. It is clearly not a healthy relationship.
It is fair to say that with a demanding full time job, 2 children who have had problems at school and a housebound (older) demanding relative I have plenty to sort out really without getting involved but I feel so sad for her.
Should I contact her to offer support or stay out of it? Last night I felt particularly bad for her as she had posted and then a mutual friend of theirs was almost goading her saying 'ooh I thought you had a great relationship' which was unfair.

I have contact with my Dad but am trying to reduce and keep this at a minimum possible as I don't like the way he treats people despite the fact that he comes across to everyone else as such a fun loving person.
I feel so conflicted.

OP posts:
Lightsabre · 16/11/2019 09:30

I'd be careful as she may use what you say against him publicly a la ' Even hope thinks blah blah and she's his daughter'. Can you speak to your dad about it?

maslinpan · 16/11/2019 09:32

I would be very careful, as someone who is quick to post details about this relationship on FB is definitely not good with boundaries. If you did reach out to her, how would you feel if she put that on FB as well? Would it jeopardise what you have left of your relationship with your dad?

hopeidontforgetthisusername · 16/11/2019 09:37

Thank you both for replying.

I have tried to talk to my Dad about it the last time as I had to tell him what was on some of the posts he had and suggest he takes them down. He tries to make out like it is all her - she is mad etc, not nice.

You are both right though it will just be used against me.
Such a horrible situation.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page