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Crippling anxiety & panick attack

9 replies

Wildflower11 · 15/11/2019 09:53

Hi, I’m new on here & basically just need some support today, I suffer from anxiety, I’m not on medication anymore, stopped it about 6 months ago, but this last few weeks I’ve found myself slowly becoming more & more anxious, there’s definitely external triggers that I need to face but I don’t know how to face things when I feel so terrible, this mornin i had a panick attack, I felt like i was dying & can still feel the effects of it now, i can eat, sleep, work because I’m engulfed by worry & nerves. Can anyone give any advice on how to tackle this because at the moment I feel like I’m goin crazy.

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Mammatino · 15/11/2019 10:04

You're not going crazy. You're ill and need some help, I know that when you feel shitty and frightened it's difficult to do anything other than survive. You are surviving and one thing I've learnt is it will pass, concentrate on that. When your mind dwells on a trigger try to think of something nice (I think about a pair of boots I want, or how wonderful my little boy feels when we have a cuddle). I applaud you coming off the tablets but there is no shame going back on them. Do you have a talking therapy unit near you? Your gp can give you a number and they can start talking to you about coping. It will get better and whatever is happening it isn't your fault, you are ill you poor thing. Do you have any family or friends who know your situation? I have a code word I text my mum so she's aware I'm struggling and can be around if I need her. We just focus on the mundane and it really helps me. Good luck. You are going to be OK.

CatLady789 · 15/11/2019 10:21

Hello lovely,
About a year ago I was the same with anxiety and panic attacks, I couldn't even the house without a massive panic attack occurring! You really need to deal with your triggers, you have to face things head on! It's very difficult but you can do it. There are many natural remedies that can help, lemon balm for example are amazing. Talking to your GP and going back on medication would be a good idea at this stage along with CBT. Also meditation is helpful and keeping a diary can help. Understanding panic attacks and why they happen can also be very usual when it comes to dealing with them. Don't be worried or embarrassed about going back on medication, be proud of yourself for being honest about how you feel and how it's effecting you. You got this! X

Wildflower11 · 15/11/2019 10:29

Thank you so much for your kind words, it makes so much difference to know I’m not alone & that other people feel or have felt like this aswell, I do have family who know about my situation but tbh I play it down a lot because I don’t want to worry them & also I feel embarrassed by it. My family & DH r brilliant though & they would be there for me if I opened up more but I do find it so difficult, I’m so used to pretending everything is fine, that I’ve got it all under control but inside I’m crumbling, I am going to try though, & I will try those tips, when I’m falling into panick mode hopefully it will help subside the tidal wave of anxiety, I’m gona call my gp & see if I can get an appointment because exactly like you said I feel like I’m just ‘surviving’ its so hard to get through the day at the moment

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Wildflower11 · 15/11/2019 10:33

Thank Catlady Your positivity has really inspired me to try to tackle my triggers, I’m frightened but I do need to face things head on xx

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Mammatino · 15/11/2019 16:50

I just wanted to check you are feeling OK. Take care sending you lots of strength. I'm the future you will be on here giving a bit of positivity and support to others who need it like @CatLady789. Good luck and remember one step at a time.

slippermaiden · 15/11/2019 16:54

I've had a shitty day too. I've been feeling overwhelmed for a few weeks but managed to keep my head above water. Today I finally gave in and went to bed all day. It's okay to ask for help. Make sure you do xx

Aquamarine1029 · 15/11/2019 16:59

How old are you, op?

Groundfloor · 15/11/2019 21:46

OP, I'm in the same boat.

Anxiety for years and meds for many of them. Came off them 3 years ago when my circumstances changed and I felt that I could cope. Slowly but surely the anxiety had crept back, little by little to the point now where I just can't cope anymore and I'm going back to the Dr tomorrow to request more meds.

I totally understand and relate to how you are feeling. Living in a constant state of fear, uncertainty, constantly scanning for threats, catastrophising everything, second guessing everything you do, worrying about every decision and outcome... it's the pits.

Then there's the times when it turns into full panic - can't sleep, can't eat, can't concentrate, feel like you're going to explode, sweating, feeling sick, diarrhoea, shaking, trembling, constant racing heart rate, metallic taste in your mouth, tingling hands and feet, butterflies, loose teeth, bleeding gums, hair falling out....

Been there, got the t-shirt and have a first class ticket there again right now as I type this.

You are not alone.

I have to disagree about facing triggers - this isn't always possible or helpful in my experience. iI's fine for some things, but it's no use if you have no control over a situation that could materially impact your life, or depends on the actions of other people - a court case, a job interview, a health problem, a horrible boss in a job you're trapped in etc.

Sometimes its having a coping strategy to deal with the things that are out of your control that is important.

Sadly, in my experience, I can, very occasionally mentally fight my way out of a thinking pattern, but most of the time cannot and just go round and round in circles.

I find therapy and counselling moderately helpful for very mild situations, but when it gets to the point where you just want to die and for it all to be over, where you can barely string a sentence together and haven't slept for 3 days straight or eaten anything and have nothing left inside to either poo out of vomit up, therapy just doesn't cut it.

"Try reading a book"..... good luck with that.

If I could even hold a book steady enough to be able to read it that would be a massive improvement. Then the ability to read more than one line at a time without having to go over and over and over the same line before I can focus enough to take it in, or focus through the tears.

In those situations, only prescribed medicines work for me. I've tried to fix it alone with the power of my mind but have realised I can't - no more than a diabetic can will themselves to produce more insulin.

You are absolutely not alone and there is no shame whatsoever asking for medical help. It's what sick people need.

Wildflower11 · 16/11/2019 08:57

So i slept a little last night so I feel better for that at least was still up at crack of dawn, with sweats & heaving up bile because I’ve not been able to eat, I’m going to see GP on Monday & see what they can offer me coz at the moment It’s unbearable, it’s like I’m crawling out my skin, I can’t sit still or focus just jumping from thought to thought with the dreading feelings of despair, I’m definitely over castastrophising, for instance this week my 2 yr old did has been really ill with a viral infection, gp thought it was hand foot & mouth as she has ulcers around her lips, anyway long story short when she woke up this morning her gums r so swollen they’ve started to bleed & she’s complaining her teeth hurt, sooooo I went straight into panic mode, thinking OMG what if she’s got a bactierial infection instead & it’s now effected her entire mouth as a result of me taking the gp’s word for it that it was viral, i was crying imagining her having to have all her teeth removed, as I write this I know it’s sounds ridiculous, but that’s how it is at the moment worst case scenario all the time, I’ve tried & tried for months to focus on the positives but I’m at the point now where I just can’t anymore, it’s a struggle to get through the day.
I have 3 small children & I’m 36, we’ve moved house recently & suffered from bereavement aswell; Money is tight because of the house move & I feel my DH is hiding things from me financially because he knows I’m at breaking point, but that just makes me worry more, I work part time in a job that I’m not particularly happy in but it pays the bills so I’ve just been going through the motions, it’s jus like everywhere aspect of my life is turning to shit, my only Ray of sunshine in my lovely kids & even then I know I’m letting them because of my uselessness, we had letters from school 2 days ago for my older 2 who are in primary school because their attendance has dipped below average, so they are being monitored, this is my fault because sometimes I can’t face taking them, they make me feel safe, so when we’re in the house just us, we can shut out the world, & now the letters have come that’s added to my anxiety & feelings of guilt!

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