Struggling with motivation to do anything at all

[afternoonspray]

I know I am fighting off a pretty vicious spell of depression. I worked incredibly hard a few years ago to build up some resilience tools, so I am getting up and dressed, showering, teeth cleaned, make up on so I look human most days. But that's about it. I am managing to do maybe one very unchallenging thing a day and apart form that I just rest, shattered. I haven't worked for weeks. (Self employed so a couple of projects are just stalled and I can't make myself care or even contact the clients. I'm just worn down and very low in mood. Not sure how to kick start myself to do anything I find hard to do. Especially work. Having to do anything where my performance is judged is the first thing to crumble.

Does amyone have any tips or advice?

I am sleeping loads. I'm taking iron, Vit D spray, LTyrosine and Magnesium (just started all these again.)

Sorry you are feeling so crappy.

My advice is wake up early and go for a run or do some exercise. Even if you really do not feel like it, which you won't.

It will give you more energy and some feel good endorphins to kick start your day.

@Twinmummy2018. Thank you for your advice. Unfortunately, it isn;t true for me. I do early morning exercise twice a week, come home, shower and sleep off the exhaustion it induces for the rest of the day. On days where I exercise I can't even put a wash load on, I'm so tired afterwards.

Good afternoon.
I have spent my afternoon looking through the threads on here wondering whether I should post one myself then boom here you are posting. I can’t really offer any advice only that you aren’t alone.
One step at a time is what most people have said on here. Was going to silently creep but had to let you know someone else is going through the same this very afternoon xxx

Thank you @Out4the. It does help to know you're not alone. Not that I wish this on you. I keep trying to remind myself that I'm ill, so it;s not surprising that Im not working and can barely do anything except get up,. have gentle exercise and rest. But it feels like life is just drifting and drifting while people around me do worthwhile things.

What exercise are you doing? Wondering if you are overdoing it.

e.g. 20 minute walk in the morning, then followed by doing the main job of the day, smaller jobs, lunch, if you have energy for afternoon repeat, or if not wanting to focus then go and do a more strenuous exercise session then?

It's more that the depression depletes me of all energy at all times. I can just about summon the energy to do something I don;t have to do because there;s no stress attache dif I bottle it. So I can manage to go to an exercise class or out for a walk or do a laundry load or cook a dinner but that;s about it. One of those each day. Two on a good day. I have a stack of work piling up that I feel sick about and some projects of my own that I made time for and instead of doing them, I'm just in bed, feeling low for hours every day. It's so demoralising.

Reminding yourself that your ill is probably a good thing for the guilt. If you had flu and stayed in bed you wouldn’t feel guilty about not doing all the things you “should” be doing. Maybe getting a blood test to rule out any physical causes might be a good idea if you haven’t already done it? Especially if exercise isn’t helping. That’s the other thing that’s constantly recommended on most threads. And socialising but that one sounds a lot easier said than done in my opinion.

Be kind to yourself OP, recovery from depression takes time. The fact you are doing those things you list and taking care of yourself is really good. Could you sack off the work for now? Do some nice things that you enjoy just for fun. See a movie on your own. Do a creative project. Catch up with someone for coffee.

With regards the stress, we do often reach depression/rock bottom at the end of a long period of stress, so the thought of the work again is overwhelming. You could try the pomodoro technique, i.e. 25 minutes at a time e.g. 2 x 25mins and then spend the next 25mins planning how to tackle a project the next day.

I'm not saying I've cracked this, but they are things I've heard/tried

Thank you both. Goldfish, your post has made me realise that I really am pretty disabled by it right now, because even the Pomodoro method (which I've come across before) makes me feel weepy at the prospect of it. Too much effort and stress. It isn;t really, it just is in my molehills-are-mountains current mindset.

I could have written your post op. On another thread someone has suggested an activity log where i just write 1 basic thing to do per day. Im going to try it. My depression came to a head in Oct. Ive been off work since then..My symptoms are like yours, doing 1 thing feels overwhelming..I cant concentrate, insomnia, all over aches and pains and avoiding all social interaction. Hang in there, we will get better. Sending flowers

hi all, just wanted to join the chat as I could have written this post too,

literally no energy and utterly baffled as to how to get out of it. I get up and get my teen off to school - I watch the clock for when she's out the door so I can crawl back into bed. Undoubtably I'll have had a crap nights sleep so I try and catch up on some zzz's.

I haven't worked in weeks and letters are unopened, everything scares me, all shopping is on a credit card and Im just hoping it will all sort itself out. I wasn't so low a few weeks ago and could go for a run or swim and do the stuff that works but now a real mist has lowered around me and I just want to sleep.

this isn't very helpful, I just need to share my thoughts as I can't fess up to my friends how crap I really feel

even making an appointment with the GP feels like an effort
I watch too much Netflix and just retreat into another world!

@msbrightside - Please try the following: Vitamin D spray (DLux sold in Holland and Barrett. I use the very strong one, they also have a weaker one.) Take a liquid iron supplement too and Vit B complex. Drink 2 litres of water or herb tea every day. I also take L-Tyrosine, but it's a bit expensive if you're not working and loving on credit. (Though worth it if it can get you back into work.

If you are too tired to go out, just stand in your garden or on your doorstep , facing the sun while you have a cup of tea. Do this for a week. See if you feel any better.

Seriously, please try these. They could make a massive difference.

BTW, OP here. I've namechanged.

@msbrightside, the other thing I do (I do bang on about it but it works) is to do something every single day that you've never done before.
Even if you are lying in bed, feeling drugged by tiredness, put some music or a podcast on that you've not heard before. Try an energising visualisation (you can listen lying down, it;s fine ) etc.

When you buy food or bath stuff, try new tastes and smells.

When/if you are out and about, walk down a new street, say good morning to a stranger, go into a shop you've never been into, buy a magazine in a subject you've never read etc. Bit by bit, increase the challenges: plant something new in the garden or in a pot for the windowsill. Do a 5 minute online exercise video - HIIT or yoga. Put together a new outfit with existing clothes. Cook a new recipe, Make something crafty.

I don't know, but I think this creates new neural pathways that seem to shake the brain out of its stupor a bit. It helps get you out of the winter rut too.

@Clogsaregreat - can you link to that other thread of listing one hting a day? Sounds helpful, but I couldn't find it.

Me too! It's been a while now. The self employed part is hard, requires so much motivation. Netflix calls like a siren...lack of sleep at night, combined with attempted naps during the day is a terrible mix.

I'm hoping baby steps each day and things will improve in time.

Are you getting any human contact?

Have you had your thyroid checked? Also side effect of long term cortisone use. Both can sap you of battery power.

This has definitely improved my outlook on life:

Download Workflowy app. and everyday (or the day before) write down what you want to achieve that day. The most important thing about this list is that it should be doable. You can list absolutely everything, no matter how small e.g. put on a wash, cut your nails, email fried. When you have completed the task you cross it off. When you have completed your list, don't add anything more to it and don't feel guilty for not doing anything else that day. Just that act of acknowledging the things you have achieved builds up confidence and soon the bigger things don't seem that bad - they too can be broken down into smaller tasks.

It's about being kind to yourself. If you love yourself, you can realise that just doing what you can is good enough, and anything positive you're doing in the present is really a gift for the future you. I think it's quite often people with a perfectionist streak that overestimate what they can achieve and therefore ironically achieve less because they're paralysed by guilt. Does this sound at all familiar?

I hope you feel better soon OP.

Are you getting any human contact?
@Angela9 - that's a really interesting question. Why? Is there a correllation between low human contact and low physical energy?

@newdeer
Thank you so much for your reply and great suggestions, I'll give them a try
I'm finding going outside really challenging at the moment, I get waves of panic

Could it be peri menopause?HRT could maybe help.I've been feeling the same & have just started HRT.

@newdeer

I have no idea about any studies or data or anything, but anecdotally from my own experience and when I've discussed this with others, the right amount of human contact does lift us. Too much and your exhausted by it, obviously, but not enough and I find my mental health, chronic pain and chronic fatigue are all worse. I will do some research on the reasons why, but all of those things seem to be improved greatly for me by spending time with other people (the right ones anyway) who lift me up and cheer me up, hold my hand or me in a hug. Those kinds of things

@Cmagic7 - that is all really useful and true. The app sounds interesting. I make 'At least I' lists at the end of any day which I feel went badly, where I stalled and didn't get on with what I'd planned. They remind me that I might have crawled back under the covers for most of the day but at least I got up to make DC's breakfast and packed lunches and get them off to school, emptied and reloaded the dishwasher, put on a laundry load, had a shower and dressed, emailed a family member or colleague to make progress on a plan, fed the cat and the birds, cooked tea etc. It feels like nothing but when you look at it you realise that if no one else had done this, DC and animals would have gone hungry, the kitchen would be dirty, clothes unwashed etc so actually even on bad days, we're not doing nothing. We're still contributing to the world.