Can't face work any more, what do I do?

[Burnout101]

Sorry if I miss details but I'm feeling awful at the moment, I've hardly slept all night. I've been struggling at work for ages, work in a stressful job supporting people on benefits but suddenly it's all got on top of me and I need to 'stop the ride and get off'.

I'm so worried to actually admit it to work though, I really need some advice on how to do this. I'm behind in my work, have been letting it get on top of me but no-one's 'noticed' because we all have our own caseloads and are expected to manage them independently until we get checked up on and no-one really has checked up on me because I put up good front of being capable and haven't said I'm struggling. I'm worried that if I take sick leave they'll think I'm weak for having mental health issues and will find out how much I'm behind (not really with any client work but paperwork) and think I'm useless.

I know the sensible thing would have been to have a chat with my line manager before now, I've mentioned being stressed in supervision but we basically all are and I haven't made enough of a point of how it's affecting me. Now I'm at the point where I don't even want to go in today, I want to go off sick and finally rest properly, not like when I have a week holiday and spend most of it catching up on stuff I haven't got round to yet.

Do I take sick leave when it might make me look so shit? And it'll put more pressure on colleagues having to take over for me so feel they'll resent me too. And how do I broach it? It's easy when it's physical, can just say 'I've got X, might need a couple of days' but how do I say I'm completely fried and don't know when I'll be better?

I would go and see your gp. They can sign you off for a week or two. That can be extended if you don’t feel ready to go back. A few nights of good sleep where you know you won’t have to go to work the next day will really help. Then you can have a calmer, less fraught conversation with your line manager.

It’s hard when work is tough.

Thank you, do you see the GP straight away or self cert for the 7 days first? I'd prefer to be signed off asap, it'll help me 'explain' it to work but not sure if the GP will?

Are you able to email your line manager explaining this if it is something that you don't feel able to talk to them about.

The situation sounds dire and not in any way sustainable. Have you got a union you can speak to about stress caused by workloads?

There are no points awarded to people who struggle through past their tipping point - and I would hope that MH issues being seen as a weakness is not the case in your organisation.

I agree with PP. See if your gp will sign you off and then have the conversation with work when you are a little better.

It’s more likely to reflect on you badly if you get to the point where your direct work with clients is affected so look after yourself now.

Be kind to yourself.

It like you would really benefit from seeing your gp today. I’d go and talk to them and go from there. Is your practice one that’s likely to have an emergency (ie on the day) appointment?

Firstly your primary responsibility is your own health and wellbeing, without it everything stops.

Secondly your work is a shared responsibility, I feel you’re taking on more than your fair share because you’re worrying so much, it’s your job, not your life. What would you say to a colleague who came to you and said what you’re saying here?

Thirdly, go to your GP. You need some support to feel better. Don’t go on struggling any more. Things can improve, honestly.

Phone in sick today and get a GP appointment as soon as you can.

Agree with seeking help for your mental health.

Does you work have an employee assistance service? Mine was v good, it paid for counselling sessions.

Better to have just a v short time off and seek to stay in work, if you can, for your sick leave record.

You could tell your manager how you’re finding things by email if that’s easier than face to face. Your work conditions sound v challenging so this must happen a fair bit, it’s not a reflection on your capabilities.

Thanks everyone, I'm in a union but I don't know how much they'd intervene about workloads, I could email them. My GP does on the day, I'll see if I can get one today. I'd be the first to tell a colleague they need to look after themselves but the culture is you say all the right things but still expect the work to be all done no matter how much is thrown at you. The number of 'wellbeing initiatives' that get bandied about while actually you're just meant to shut up and keep going is unreal.

Does your employer have a counselling service? That can be helpful....

But agree with go to your go first.

Thanks loopytiles, I'm worried about my sick leave record but feel like I'm in a catch 22, when I try to keep going I slowly get worse and worse, if I take a couple of days I'll only feel a tiny bit better and be more behind with work but if I take longer then I'll be looked down on. My immediate line manager is generally quite supportive but the main boss has already sniped about people being off and the whole feel in the team is that you're sympathetic when someone isn't well but actually it piles more work on you.

Get another job. I moved out of the nhs. People were supportive and happy for me.

Employer has phone counselling, not too keen on that compared to face to face but would be worth a try.

I've thought of moving jobs but moving to similar work would be the same stress level and I'm not sure what else I'd do if I changed jobs completely.

Going to phone GP and work etc, sorry if I don't reply for a while.

Couldn't get a GP appt today so going to try tomorrow. Chickened out of calling in sick as had an important meeting but feeling awful, will have to call in sick tomorrow I think and go from there.

OP I wish you well. You totally deserve to prioritise your health. As PPs say speak to your GP, tell them everything, they will agree what to say on the sick note and how long for.

As an aside, re. worrying about work/cases, the reality is most people won't even notice the backlog, they'll just get on with covering the minimum while you are off. You sound v conscientious

I understand how you feel! As a teacher we would drag ourselves to work when ill, because we knew if we had time off our already overworked and stressed colleagues would have to cover for us.
However there comes a point where you know that you just can't carry on no matter how guilty you feel about taking time off. I've seen people (myself included) that forced ourselves in to work and eventually collapse. Eventually you realise that that helps nobody - not you and not your workplace. It is far better to take time off before reaching this stage.
As pp have said - no job is worth making yourself ill over.

Going off sick from my job was the best thing I ever did for my MH. I was in a similar job and faced a lot of pressure to return. I ended up leaving without looking back, when the chips are down and they treat you badly it does make you think whAt am I break my back for?