What happened?

[Winterwinds24]

I will try and keep this as short as possible. I have depression and generalised anxiety disorder and have done for about 15 years. I have PTSD which was diagnosed about 3 years ago from a traumatic event.

Last week I had an "episode" (I really don't know what else to call it) which was nothing like I've ever experienced before.
I was meant to go to see a friend one evening but a couple of things went wrong when I was getting ready. Nothing major at all. I overslept, couldn't find things. Small things. However it completely sent me over the edge. Within about half an hour I had gone from getting ready to go out to a point where there was no way I was leaving the house. I was hysterically crying and shaking. Things escalated to the point where I wanted to break things. Possessions of mine. And I wanted to erase the memories of things. It took a long time to calm down and afterwards I was absolutely exhausted.

I was wondering if anyone knows what this might have been. I'm aware how "crazy" I sound so please be kind. I am in a really vulnerable place and quite frightened so any nasty comments please just keep going by. Thank you very much.

You don’t sound at all crazy. You sound overwhelmed. Could something have “triggered” a panic attack?

have you been under additional stress or worry recently, compared to normal?

It's an "emotional flashback" possibly.

I have them, I express and feel the same emotion from my traumatic event, and it can happen at the flick of a switch.

Without knowing your traumatic event I can't be sure, and please do not feel the need to divulge it here, but if your events and the emotions match somewhat it could be that.

I'm no psychologist/psychiatrist I can only speak from my own personal experience of PTSD.

I had a near death experience so I get overwhelmed by the "feeling of impending doom". Its awful, I feel like I'm going to die.

Thank you everyone.

I am under a lot of stressed and I'm definitely really overwhelmed. I have a lot of issues in each of the areas of my life at the moment and things are really on top of me.

To be honest I would feel somewhat kind of okay to think it was a panic attack because I have been really worried it was some sort of psychotic episode although when I've looked this up it doesn't really match up.

Sometimes the stress of “worrying” things like an exam or something, or even “nice” things like meeting friends can just be the last straw and our insides just get the better of us and we can get angry to the point of actually pulling our hair out, or we could cry, or vomit or pass out.

Sounds like you are really stressed out. Perhaps you need meds adjusted to give you more control of your body and how it reacts to things, or more coping strategies like mindfulness or other things to help you when you feel things are revving up before you start the behaviours you don’t want to have. At least you got control before you smashed treasures possessions. I hope you find something that helps.

I think a chat with your GP is in order, am sure they will be able to reassure you.

'Fight, flight or freeze' I'm glad you were able to calm down. Just take it as a lesson that you need to slow down.